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Band 4

Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic: There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays? Use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

#argument #case #reader #specialist #topic #music #world #country #support #arguments #evidence
In the modern world,
music
 is considered as one of the stress relievers tools. Some people believe that the traditional
music
 is best and should be cherished, whereas, other group thought that international
music
 adds variety and should be promoted to bring people closer across globe. In my opinion, people should respect to the individual preference as
this
 is a matter of
individual’s
Suggestion
the individual’s
an individual’s
 like and dislike.
This
 essay will discuss both sides of
this
 argument and come up with
opinion
Suggestion
an opinion
opinions
. Traditional
music
 is
soul
Suggestion
the soul
 of the local
people which
Accept comma addition
people, which
 connects the people with their history and depth of their culture. It is
sense
Suggestion
a sense
the sense
 of pride for them and respect to their
ancestor
Suggestion
ancestors
.
Specially
Suggestion
Especially
, people in small towns are very closed to their
music
 and celebrated most of their rituals with traditional
music
. In India, people have four different functions in marriages which spread across a
week
Suggestion
week's
 time, for
particular type
Suggestion
a particular type
particular types
 of
music
 People felt pride in their
music
 and consider nourishment of it as their responsibility.
However
, International
music
 provided new dimensions to the
music
. It is obvious for people to get bored from traditional
music
 and they start looking forward for something new. International
music
 addresses
this
 requirement of people.
Music
 is not only about the sound variations, rather it carries the culture of
region
Suggestion
the region
a region
. It is
great source
Suggestion
a great source
 to bind people of different backgrounds and connect them beyond
borders
Suggestion
the borders
.
Music
 of Michael Jackson and
Jelo
a river that rises in western New Mexico and flows westward through southern Arizona to become a tributary of the Colorado River
Gila
 unites the people across countries. It is important mean to bring people on
same platform
Suggestion
the same platform
 and take them towards peace and harmony. To sum up, both traditional and international
music
have
Suggestion
has
 their own
importance and role to
Suggestion
importance and role
 play. Same
music
 is traditional in one part of
globe
Suggestion
the globe
 and international in another part of
globe
Suggestion
the globe
. I believe it should be left to individual choice and provide them
freedom
Suggestion
the freedom
 to choose their ways of entertainment and relaxation.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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