Some people think government should ban dangerous sports, such as skydiving and rock climbing. Do you agree or disagree.

#people #government #ban #sports #rock

Strict restrictions on dangerous sporting

events

such

as skydiving and rock climbing should be imposed is a debatable issue.

While

certain individuals believe that political

party

Fix the agreement mistake

parties

show examples

in power should ban thrilling

sports

activities

this

essay disagrees with the aforementioned statement.

This

essay will

first,

discuss that

people

should have the right to try

activities

out of their comfort zone and

further

, outline that

government

should take necessary security measures for

such

sports

events

It is clear that

people

plan their itineraries that involve thrilling

activities

as are interested in trying new things which Is not only out of their comfort zone

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

can boast about them in front of their friends and family and build a competent image and respect.

Moreover

people

are excited to do challenging and energizing things as

this

gives them the feeling of confidence and self-achievement. When they are able to do daring things on holidays makes them feel proud of themselves. To elucidate, a recent study by the Sporting Company found that more than 80

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

people

are interested and excited

Change preposition

about

show examples

doing dangerous

sports

events

As a result

Apart from

this

, the

government

should impose necessary and essential security measures in order to ensure the safety of

people

who are undertaking thrilling sporting

activities

such

as skydiving and rock climbing.

This

is to say, strict rules and regulations must be imposed regarding the weight of

people

and prior experience of

people

is critical before doing sporting

events

. To exemplify,

Change preposition

in a

show examples

recent study by The

Government

more than 60

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

of companies are directed to follow stringent rules and regulations

in ensuring

Change preposition

to ensure

show examples

the safety of

people

As a consequence

people

will be able to save their lives at risk

while

enjoying dangerous

sports

events

To conclude

although

some

people

believe that dangerous

sports

mus

Correct your spelling

must

show examples

be banned by the political party in power, In my opinion,

Change the capitalization

show examples

vehemently agree that

instead

of banning

sports

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

should impose security measures,

moreover

people

should have the right to participate in

events

according to

their needs and desires.

Submitted by sodhi.parul.18 on Tue Mar 03 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

15Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

341 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Taking professional and personal risks is quite necessary for many individuals. I firmly believe that the profits of being risky such as success and an interesting life outweigh any drawbacks.
On the one side, it is clear that taking risks is dangerous. Firstly, the main disadvantage is a danger of dispersing a person's efforts. People can find themselves to be not satisfied with their job and they change it in order to find something better instead of increasing their professionality. Thus, when they change it at last they are still unhappy. In other words, instead of making risky changes, it is much better to be happy by developing themselves in a constant manner. The second drawback is the possibility of losing their money, especially for individuals who prefer to risks often. For instance, gambling the Forex in order to earn additional money mostly leads to losses. That is why risks can be observed as inappropriate behaviour.
6
band
Many people believe that having fixed punishments for all crimes is more efficient way to deal with crime. whats your opinion?.
In the contemporary world, the crime rate is significantly rising around the world. Many people argue that the best way to tackle crime is to have a fixed punishment. I completely agree that this approach would not only decrease the crime rate but also bring a positive change in offenders' lives.
4.5
band
Some Countries have implemented mandatory community programs for young people. In these programs, children aged 16 to 18 do charity work, help old people or work with animals. What are some advantages and disadvantages for this for young people?
Doing charity is not only fruitful to the doer but also to the receiver as well. Some nations organise mandatory welfare programs for adolescents in which they work with animals and the elderly. In this essay, I will outline what I considered to be potential advantages of such a program as well as demerits that are likely to occur.
5
band
Some people think that lawbreakers should be sent to prison. However, others think that better talents among those should be made to work. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays, a great deal of attention has been paid to the behaviour of prisoners. Some people insist that criminals should be sent to prison, while others opine there are other solutions such as encouraging them to work. In this essay, I am going to discuss both views and examine the reason why I believe lawbreakers must be in jail.
6.5
band
Today, people are getting greedy and selfish. Some people argue that we should go back to the old days and show respect for the family and community so that we can make the world a better place to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is a controversial perspective heating a debate over whether people ought to get back to the old days and be respectful to beloved family members and society since modern life is full of selfishness. I consider myself an advocate of this idea.

Some people think government should ban dangerous sports, such as skydiving and rock climbing. Do you agree or disagree.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Taking professional and personal risks is quite necessary for many individuals. I firmly believe that the profits of being risky such as success and an interesting life outweigh any drawbacks.

Many people believe that having fixed punishments for all crimes is more efficient way to deal with crime. whats your opinion?.

Some Countries have implemented mandatory community programs for young people. In these programs, children aged 16 to 18 do charity work, help old people or work with animals. What are some advantages and disadvantages for this for young people?

Some people think that lawbreakers should be sent to prison. However, others think that better talents among those should be made to work. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Today, people are getting greedy and selfish. Some people argue that we should go back to the old days and show respect for the family and community so that we can make the world a better place to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?