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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Too much money is spent on repairing old buildings, instead that money should be spent on knocking down old buildings and building new ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#money #buildings #ones
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It is often alleged that the government
isallocating
Suggestion
is allocating
 a huge amount budget on renovating ancient buildings
instead
 that sum should be spent on demolishing old constructions and building new ones. I am inclined to believe that
this
 argument is not exactly true.
However
, funds should be used wisely. There is a wide array of reasons that account for the reconstructed
building but
Accept comma addition
building, but
 the prime one is to conserve the historical value of that construction.
For example
, the Temple of Literature in Hanoi, which was built in 1070, despite wars and disasters, it has been preserved to remain ancient architectural styles of many dynasties as well as precious relics. Even though it costs a
hugh
unusually great in size or amount or degree or especially extent or scope
huge
 amount of country’s expenditure, Vietnamese’s authorities would not knock down for any reasons since
this
 temple carries the value of the thousand-year culture.
On the other hand
, spending too much money on repairing old and unnecessary buildings is wasting the people’s taxes. In Vietnam’s countryside, there are numerous aged and obsolete bridges that children usually cross to go to school, which are really
deteriorative
Suggestion
deteriorating
deteriorate
 for their safety. The regime of local bureaucracy only tries to repair those bridges in order to save budget.
However
, they do not concern about the quality and durability that lead to the consequence: more and more money spending
on maintenance the
Suggestion
on the maintenance
 works. In
this
 case, knocking down old buildings and constructing new ones would be more economical and effective choice. In conclusion, using national financial resource to preserve historical construction is the essential task of every
nations
Suggestion
nation
 on reserving culture.
Nevertheless
, we
also
 need to spend it wisely depending on different kind of buildings.
Submitted by mrlightning.1512 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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