Some people believe that research into family history is useful, while others claim that the present and future are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #research #history #future

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Some people argue that investigating family

history

is worthwhile,

while

others emphasize the importance of present and future.

To begin

with, advocates assert that

individuals

can gain a better understanding of their ancestors by researching their family

history

This

knowledge can help them understand their ancestor’s struggles and achievements, enabling them to learn from past mistakes and even foster a sense of belonging and pride.

Additionally

, family

history

can reveal the risk of health or genetic problems, allowing them to make informed decisions about their well-being.

For example

, if there is a family

history

of diseases

such

as diabetes, they can take preventive measures to reduce the likelihood of developing

such

conditions.

Consequently

, researching family

history

not only provides

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

insight into historical heritage but

also

helps people prevent dangerous diseases.

While

family

history

provides a better understanding of the past, opponents focus on the importance of present and future relationships. They believe that

individuals

should close the doors of the past and strengthen their current connection with others because doing so can have long-term impacts on their lives.

For instance

, when

individuals

invest their time and effort in enhancing relationships with friends, family, colleagues, and others, potentially cultivating a sense of empathy and compassion. I am of the opinion that

although

family

history

is important, today,

people-whether

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

seniors or

adolescents-have

Correct your spelling

adolescents

show examples

prioritized

Wrong verb form

prioritise

show examples

the outcomes of present and future connections, driving them to achieve their goals. In conclusion,

while

the significance of family

history

is not overestimated, as it provides an insight into

history

, tradition, and cultural heritage, I believe that

this

does

Verb problem

show examples

not

consider

Wrong verb form

considered

show examples

a valid reason.

This

is because

individuals

' preferences have evolved, and many prioritize having intimate relationships. Provide scores

Submitted by hongminh317 on Thu Dec 19 2024

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Task Achievement

Work on making the introduction stronger by defining the terms 'family history' and 'present and future importance' to capture the reader's attention effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion

Improve transitions between ideas, especially when shifting from discussing the benefits of family history to the importance of present and future connections.

Task Achievement

The essay provides a balanced discussion on the topic by evaluating both perspectives clearly.

Task Achievement

The conclusion is strong and effectively summarizes the central arguments of the essay.

Task Achievement

The essay employs relevant examples, such as discussing health issues, which aid in clearly illustrating the points made.

Coherence and Cohesion

Each paragraph has a clear main idea and is logically structured to maintain coherence throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion

General ideas transition smoothly, creating a coherent flow of thoughts in the writing.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

282 words

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Some people believe that research into family history is useful, while others claim that the present and future are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or positive development?

Nowadays, more and more people to have children later in their life. What are the reasons? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?

Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organizations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Eating too much sugar is harmful to health. Some people think it is the government’s responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption, while others think it is an individual’s responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many people believe that countries should produce food for the whole population and import as little food as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?