IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Wealth does not necessarily guaranty happiness. To what extent do you agree with this statement.

#wealth #guaranty #happiness
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I definitely agree that the pros of
maternity
Use synonyms
 leave outweigh the cons. A number of arguments support my
oprnron
Suggestion
First
Linking Words
,
maternity
Use synonyms
 leave is very advantageous for the newborns. We all know that the future of the world rests largely in the hands of the generation we are rearing. Once a child is born, it becomes national property' Mothers are the front line childcare providers and
therefore
Linking Words
, if they are given
maternity
Use synonyms
 leave, they can do their
job
Use synonyms
 better. On most
lndian
the capital and largest city of England; located on the Thames in southeastern England; financial and industrial and cultural center
London
 homes the mother's salary is necessary
,
Accept space
,
rpport
Suggestion
 the family. So, if the mother does not get a paid
maternity
Use synonyms
 leave,
then
Linking Words
 she has to go back to
Use synonyms
job
Suggestion
the job
a job
 earlier and
this
Linking Words
 affects the childcare. Nurseries fail to provide the one-to-one interaction children need.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
maternity
Use synonyms
 leave is beneficial for the mother herself.
lt
Suggestion
The lot
Lot
Lt
 is an undeniable fact that a woman has to go through a very stressful time physically, emotionally, and financially, during pregnancy.
Therefore
Linking Words
, if women are allowed
maternity
Use synonyms
 leave, they can look after their health. Another important advantage of the
maternity
Use synonyms
 leave is that, the
job
Use synonyms
 is secure. Where
maternity
Use synonyms
 leave is not allowed, the woman has to leave her
job
Use synonyms
, and the vacancy may get filled when it is time for her to get back to work. The fear of losing the
job
Use synonyms
 altogether makes many women apprehensive and so they get back to work at the cost of their health and their child
,
Accept space
,
s health. There are a few disadvantages of the
maternity
Use synonyms
 leave. A long
maternity
Use synonyms
 leave may be an obstacle for career progression.
Secondly
Linking Words
, in cases of unpaid
maternity
Use synonyms
 leave, there may be
financial strain
Suggestion
a financial strain
 on the households. To sum up, I reiterate my opinion saying that the disadvantages of
maternity
Use synonyms
 leave are negligible as compared to the advantages.
That is
Linking Words
 why some countries have taken a step forward and allowed
maternity
Use synonyms
 leave to women after
child-birth
the parturition process in human beings; having a baby; the process of giving birth to a child
childbirth
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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