IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in business, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes. What things will they be used in the future? Is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we be more suspicious of their benefits?

#computers #business #hospitals #crime #detection #planes #future #dependence
Technology has invaded our modern
life style
a manner of living that reflects the person's values and attitudes
lifestyle
.
using
Suggestion
Using
 computers becomes essential for us. They used in several fields like hospital, crime investigation and in Airports.
This
 using will be increased by the time and affect our future positively. One of the most important advantages of using computers is long distance education.
This
 kind of education provides
great chance
Suggestion
a great chance
 for developing countries students. They can
enroll
register formally as a participant or member
enrol
 in big universities all over the world from their own place. In
this
 way, they can save more money they could spend on
traveling
the act of going from one place to another
travelling
.
Also
, they cannot waste time for attending literatures. The materials of most of these courses are available online on the same sites. Another benefit of
computer revolution
Suggestion
the computer revolution
 is giving the working mothers a good opportunity to work at home, and take care of their children as well. There
are
Suggestion
is
 a lot of sites offer these kinds of jobs which can do at home on computers.
Such
 as typing some documents or translate some texts to another language. For people who love private business, they can find a golden chance on the internet to build their business from home. They can just pay for
build
Suggestion
building
 their own business website and begin to show their products online. The claiming and paying are both online by credit cards or visa cards or so. Actually, change doesn't always mean going to bad, in
this
 case, technology services our modern
life style
a manner of living that reflects the person's values and attitudes
lifestyle
 and make it
more convenience
Suggestion
more convenient
. To sum up, computers can serve our
life
 in the future in education field and in work. And we shouldn't worry about that change. Change is the
natural
Suggestion
nature
 of
life
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: