People these days watch TV, films and other programmes alone rather than with other people. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages.

#people #tv #films #programmes #development

In contemporary times, numerous people prefer to watch TV, films, and other programmes alone rather than with their friends or families.

This

essay attempts to shed light on the merits and demerits of

this

tendency before concluding that the latter is more significant. On the one hand, it is understandable why audiences intend to enjoy digital entertainment on their own. First and foremost, it could help them have an enjoyable life.

For example

, viewers could choose their favourite content without worrying about the opinions of others, which could put their minds at ease and recharge their energy after hard working shifts.

Furthermore

, being alone might enhance the quality of the watching experience.

This

is because it could allow the individuals to fully immerse themselves in the content,

thus

, they might understand more deeply

as well as

feel more delighted and satisfied.

On the other hand

, there are a host of compelling reasons as to why I am convinced that audiences should share their leisure time with others. One rationale is that

this

decision could greatly improve people's relationships. To be more specific, spending time watching TV shows and broadcasts with members of the family means that the members can comprehend each other through the conversations and discussions among them.

As a result

, they could not only strengthen their ties but

also

get through the conflicts quickly. Another justification is that parents could protect their children against the negative effects of unsuitable content. In fact, there are various 18+ label movies on TV, and those could be easily accessed if there were no preventions or supervisors from their parents, thereby leading ineligible audiences to imitate bad behaviours

such

as toxicity, bullying, or racism. In conclusion,

while

it is irrefutable that the loneliness in television recreation might have some advantages, I would contend that the downsides overshadow the upsides.

Submitted by khoihoangtrong96 on Sat Mar 23 2024

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Task Achievement

Strive for a more balanced discussion in your essay. While you covered both the advantages and disadvantages, ensure each point is fully explored with equal depth and detail.

Task Achievement

Integrate more varied and specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Instead of just mentioning generic situations, try to include real-life examples or statistics that can make your arguments more compelling and grounded.

Coherence and Cohesion

Maintain logical and clear progression of ideas throughout your essay. Using linking words and phrases will help enhance flow and coherence. Examples include 'furthermore', 'however', 'in addition', which guide the reader through your arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion

Work on developing your main points with more detailed explanations or examples. This will help in making your paragraphs more robust and convincing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

307 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

personal freedom
compromise
negotiate
viewing preferences
enhanced focus
immerse
understanding
appreciation
independent decision-making
autonomy
personal responsibility
isolation
social disconnection
loneliness
shared viewing experiences
bonding opportunities
collective experience
discussions
communal aspect
screen time
physical and mental health

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People these days watch TV, films and other programmes alone rather than with other people. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages.

Include an introduction and conclusion

More and more people are using computers and electric devices to access information, so there is no need for printed books, magazines and newspaper. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Today, more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult such as the sahara What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

International tourism has brought enormous benefit to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the disadvantages of international tourism outweigh the advantages?

Some experts believe it is better for children learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages.