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Writing Samples
Band 4

children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching television. However television cannot replace the book as learning tool, which is why are less well educated today. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#children #time #television #book #tool
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Nowadays children are getting
poor education
Suggestion
a poor education
 due to the frequent habits of watching
television
Use synonyms
. At any cost
,
Accept space
,
television
Use synonyms
 will not replace
book
Suggestion
books
.
Eventhough
Suggestion
Even though
television
Use synonyms
 is incorporated with various
knowledgable
highly educated; having extensive information or understanding
knowledgeable
 programs its not sufficient to gain knowledge compared to
book
Suggestion
the book
a book
books
.
Accept space
.
That is
Linking Words
 why I agree to the above mentioned reasons.
watching
Suggestion
Watching
television
Use synonyms
 makes the children to get rid of some physical activity to refresh their mind.
Besides
Linking Words
 that just sitting
infront
Suggestion
in front
 of the
telvision
broadcasting visual images of stationary or moving objects
television
televisions
 for long hours increases health problems, particularly the eye are getting strained due to the powerful lights and rays emitted from
television
Use synonyms
.
Eventually many
Accept comma addition
Eventually, many
 children at
young age
Suggestion
a young age
 tend to wear a
spectacles
Suggestion
spectacle
 Many of the tv shows still contain knowledge oriented programs
,
Accept space
,
inspite
Suggestion
in spite
 of that children get attracted very much to
caroons
a humorous or satirical drawing published in a newspaper or magazine
cartoons
crayons
cairns
 and some entertainment shows. Apart from that
,
Accept space
,
reading habits among children has decreased rapidly due to the interferences of social websites and
television
Use synonyms
.
Eventhough
Suggestion
Even though
television
Use synonyms
 has a wide variety of academic programs it will not equal treated to book. While we are watching any academic programs
in
Suggestion
on
Use synonyms
television there
Accept comma addition
television, there
 will be a chance of
lot
Suggestion
lots
 of distraction in between that like
advertisement
Suggestion
an advertisement
advertisements
,
Accept space
,
mind changing to switch over to another channel. But when we are reading books that type of distraction should be minimized
.
Accept space
.
 Children are just wasting their leisure hours by spending most of their time involving in watching
television
Use synonyms
. By the way there may be a chance of low level performance in their studies. At the same time playing some indoor games and
chatinng
talk socially without exchanging too much information
chatting
 with each other are
also
Linking Words
 decreased rapidly due to the impact of
television
Use synonyms
.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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