IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some People think the best way to stay fit is by joining a gym/health club while others think doing everyday activities such as walking and climbing stairs is sufficient. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, masses put a lot of efforts to remain
healthy so,
Suggestion
healthy, so
 they join various fitness centres to do an exercise;
however
Linking Words
, a group of individuals
believe
Suggestion
believes
 that routine actions are enough to keep the
body
Use synonyms
 in shape. In my opinion, going to
Use synonyms
gym
Suggestion
the gym
 is significant as it helps in doing the full-
body
Use synonyms
 workout as compared to daily actions where there is only partial movement of the
body
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the
gym
Use synonyms
 is a specially designed health centre with many exercises that works on every part of the
body
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, there are many training drills in the
gym
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as pull down, dead lift, squats and bench press. All these exercises work on shoulders, upper and lower back, legs and chest respectively. These physical activities not only increase the strength of the muscles in a
body
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 develop them.
Further
Linking Words
, if the masses go to
Use synonyms
gym
Suggestion
the gym
, it enhances the logical as well as analytical skills of the people because it escalates the supply of oxygen and blood to the brain.
For instance
Linking Words
, in a survey, it was found that individuals who go to the
gym
Use synonyms
 have a more intelligent quotient level as compared to those who do not do it.
Thus
Linking Words
, joining a
gym
Use synonyms
 is necessary to keep the
body
Use synonyms
 fit.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, if people depend on everyday activities
such
Linking Words
 as climbing stairs and walking, these only work on certain parts of the
body
Use synonyms
. To illustrate, while walking and climbing the stairs, there is a movement of the lower part of the
body
Use synonyms
 but hardly any movement of the upper part.
Therefore
Linking Words
, other parts of the
body
Use synonyms
 do not get trained.
Besides
Linking Words
, it does not improve any mental health because there is no increase in blood supply to the brain by performing
such
Linking Words
 activities.
Hence
Linking Words
, it has a little effect on the
body
Use synonyms
. To summarize, according to me, joining a
gym
Use synonyms
 makes people healthy, and daily activities are
also
Linking Words
 a type of workout, but has limited benefits.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cardiovascular health
  • resistance training
  • physical endurance
  • muscle tone
  • caloric expenditure
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • motivational factor
  • fitness regimen
  • holistic health
  • sustainable exercise habit
  • metabolic rate
  • physical exertion
  • exercise consistency
  • health maintenance
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