IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

It is a controversial issue whether the government should give an order that foreign visitors pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions or not. From my own perspective, I strongly disagree with
This
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 view. From the
strategy
Suggestion
strategic
 aspect, an increase in price levels for overseas Travellers is not a suitable method.
Firstly
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,
this
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 is a clear case of discrimination against foreign customers exerting an influence on a decrease in the number of foreign visitors.
Secondly
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, tourist attractions make a significant contribution to developing an image of each country.
Moreover
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, those places focus on gaining an understanding of each
citizen including
Suggestion
citizen, including
 overseas visitors and local visitors. Because of two typical reasons, if the authorities and the governments decided to increase the ticket price,
this
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 would be short-term planning in business. Were foreign tourists to get an impression that they would
are be charged more
Suggestion
be charged more
be be charged more
 money than the local people, they would psychologically feel uncomfortable and unhappy, it means fewer visitors.
Therefore
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, there is a wide gap between the ticket money it collects and the profit coming from tourists before. Another factor worth mentioning is that it is too difficult for governments to maintain cultural values and historic places.
Finally
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, we can fulfil
this
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 request in
fact butit
Accept comma addition
fact, but it
fact but it
 is not a good choice for the development of each economic nation. In conclusion, it is my opinion that there are a lot of ways to grow the profit in tourism and the fee in historically and culturally important places should not be different.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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