IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

You are planning a tour with your family to a tourist destination. Write a letter to a hotel manager asking about the availability of accommodation for the days you will be here and also tell him what type of room you prefer.

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Dear Hotel Manager, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to enquire about the availability of
rooms
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 at one of the finest resorts' The Hill Paradise' located in Shimla. I would be grateful if you could reserve
rooms
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 in advance.
Moreover
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, I am planning to stay there for a week with my family. We are a total of eight members, all of whom are adults.
Therefore
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, four
rooms
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 will be needed. We have decided to stay from the first of March to the seventh of March.
Similarly
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, I would prefer to book all
rooms
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 on the same floor but not on the basement or on the ground floor, so that it will be convenient for us to meet at any time.
In addition
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, all the
rooms
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 should be privileged by a queen-sized bed, air conditioner and television. It would be best if all the bedrooms had windows so that my family members and I could see the beautiful city from the windows. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Harpreet Kaur.

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure every paragraph has a clear purpose. Your letter has a good structure; to improve, you might begin with a brief introduction before jumping into the request, giving your letter a smoother flow.
Coherence & Cohesion
Include a polite closing statement that encourages a response, which you did effectively. For an even more polished tone, consider adding a sentence about looking forward to enjoying their hospitality.
Task Achievement
Clarifying details such as the reason for your family's visit might enrich your letter and provide the hotel manager with more context, improving task achievement.
Task Achievement
Your writing tone is generally suitable; however, incorporating phrases like 'I would be extremely grateful' can make requests sound more courteous and less direct.
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