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Writing Samples
Band 6

The bar chart shows the divorce rates in two European countries from 2011 to 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the divorce rates in two European countries from 2011 to 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #divorce #rates #two #european #countries #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The bar chart provides information about the percentages of divorces in
Finland
Use synonyms
 and
Sweden
Use synonyms
 between 2011 and 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Sweden
Use synonyms
 experienced a downward trend,
while
Linking Words
Finland
Use synonyms
 showed an upward trend throughout the period. Both countries’ divorce rates had some fluctuations.
Although
Linking Words
Finland
Use synonyms
initially
Linking Words
 had a lower
rate
Use synonyms
, it outraced
Sweden
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period.
Sweden
Use synonyms
’s divorce
rate
Use synonyms
 was about 45% in 2011,
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
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higher than
Finland
Use synonyms
’s
rate
Use synonyms
 by approximately 8%.
Then
Linking Words
, it rose to almost fifty
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2012.
However
Linking Words
, the figure showed a gradual decrease to about 47% in 2013
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and continued to decline steadily to the end of the period, reaching around 45% in 2014 and hitting a
low-point
Correct your spelling
low point
show examples
 of about 37% in 2015.
Percentage
Correct article usage
The percentage
show examples
 of divorces in
Finland
Use synonyms
 was less than 40% in 2011, and it decreased in 2012
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when about
one
Add a hyphen
one-third
show examples
third
Linking Words
 of marriages in
Finland
Use synonyms
 ended with a divorce (as opposed to almost
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half in
Sweden
Use synonyms
).
However
Linking Words
, the figure experienced
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
steady growth during the
next
Linking Words
 two years. It rose to approximately 39% in 2013,
then
Linking Words
 increased by around 3% in 2014, and remained steady for the
next
Linking Words
 year, outracing the
rate
Use synonyms
 of
Sweden
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by skphemanth on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, next".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words finland, sweden, rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • divorce rates
  • fluctuate
  • increase
  • decrease
  • peak
  • trough
  • trend
  • notable
  • significant
  • substantial
  • higher
  • lower
  • comparison
  • consistent
  • vary
  • percent
  • overall
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