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Band 6

The bar chart shows the divorce rates in two European countries from 2011 to 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the divorce rates in two European countries from 2011 to 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #divorce #rates #two #european #countries #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The bar chart provides information about the percentages of divorces in
Finland
 and
Sweden
 between 2011 and 2015.
Overall
,
Sweden
 experienced a downward trend,
while
Finland
 showed an upward trend throughout the period. Both countries’ divorce rates had some fluctuations.
Although
Finland
initially
 had a lower
rate
, it outraced
Sweden
at the end
 of the period.
Sweden
’s divorce
rate
 was about 45% in 2011,
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
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higher than
Finland
’s
rate
 by approximately 8%.
Then
, it rose to almost fifty
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2012.
However
, the figure showed a gradual decrease to about 47% in 2013
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and continued to decline steadily to the end of the period, reaching around 45% in 2014 and hitting a
low-point
Correct your spelling
low point
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 of about 37% in 2015.
Percentage
Correct article usage
The percentage
show examples
 of divorces in
Finland
 was less than 40% in 2011, and it decreased in 2012
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when about
one
Add a hyphen
one-third
show examples
third
 of marriages in
Finland
 ended with a divorce (as opposed to almost
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half in
Sweden
).
However
, the figure experienced
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
steady growth during the
next
 two years. It rose to approximately 39% in 2013,
then
 increased by around 3% in 2014, and remained steady for the
next
 year, outracing the
rate
 of
Sweden
.
Submitted by skphemanth on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, next".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words finland, sweden, rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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