The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since it construction in 1950.

The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since it construction in 1950.
The provided
diagram
shows the
changes
West Park Secondary
School
has undergone since it was first established in 1950. As is presented, the
school
has gone through some major
changes
and has
also
remained the same since 1950. When looking at the diagrams, you can see that the main
school
building has not changed at all. There was an additional building added
on
Change preposition
apply
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in 1980 called the Science block which was added to accommodate the
increase
in student enrolments, which
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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was not
the
Correct article usage
apply
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anticipating
Replace the word
anticipated
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. The only other major
changes
have been to its surroundings.
According to
the
school
’s layout
diagram
of the year 2010, there has been an
increase
in the size of the car park compared to the
1980’s
Change noun form
1980s
show examples
school
layout
diagram
. When deciding to
increase
the
school
car park area, certain
school
facilities had to be sacrificed,
for instance
, the sports field is a
third
of its size compared to the 1980’s
school
layout
diagram
. The playground was
also
downsized by a quarter of its original size in 1950 and 1980. My conclusion is that these
changes
had to be done in order to accommodate a major
increase
in enrolments of students since its establishment in 1950 and maybe
also
due to
the growth in population and developments in their area.
Submitted by nguyennhancrazy on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
Vocabulary: Replace the words diagram, changes, school, increase with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 4 times.

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