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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

It is undeniable that rural
people
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 in many countries around the world are moving to
cities
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, and the population in
cities
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 is increasing. I believe that
this
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 is a negative trend, and I will state the reasons for my view.
Firstly
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, one major reason why I hold to
this
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 view is that it can create a negative impact on the development of the countryside.
This
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 is because it creates manpower shortages in villages as many residents move to urban
areas
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.
In addition
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, it will be difficult to develop
areas
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 with many facilities for residents, like urban
areas
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 that have been built.
For example
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, since there are fewer
people
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 in villages, there will not be many activities
such
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 as recreation centres, national parks, or other big companies.
Therefore
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,
although
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 the population is decreasing, and it leads to less traffic on the roads, it will not be full of new modern technology, with only a few opportunities for young
people
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.
Secondly
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, another significant drawback is that it makes urban
areas
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 crowded and more polluted.
This
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 means that increasing a large number of
people
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 in the
cities
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 contributes to the area traffic congestion caused by being crowded .
For instance
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, a survey team illustrated that the number of traffic in Yangon, the capital city of Myanmar, has increased significantly, and it is linked to the population.
Moreover
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, the air quality has decreased in the city as there are a lot of vehicles used by many residents.
Thus
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, it shows that it creates a negative impact on
cities
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.
To conclude
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, I believe that it is a negative development for both the countryside and
cities
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 because it leads to a hindrance to development for the countryside and pollutes and crowds city
areas
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.

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structure
Plan your essay. Start with your view, then give two clear reasons, and end with a short finish.
language
Use simple and clear words. Break long sentences into two parts so you can be easy to read.
content
Give true and clear examples. Check facts if you name a place.
cohesion
Use link words such as first, next, also, but to join ideas.
content
The writer has a clear view and stance.
structure
Two reasons are given for the view.
structure
There is a short ending that wraps the view.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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