IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bar chart illustrated the amount of 4 types of wastes collected in a recycling centre during the period from 2011 to 2015. The 4 types of wastes were paper, glass, tins, and garden.

The bar chart illustrated the amount of 4 types of wastes collected in a recycling centre during the period from 2011 to 2015. The 4 types of wastes were paper, glass, tins, and garden.
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The bar chart illustrated the
amount
Use synonyms
 of 4 types of
wastes
Fix the agreement mistake
waste
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 collected in a recycling centre during the
period
Use synonyms
 from 2011 to 2015. The 4 types of
wastes
Fix the agreement mistake
waste
show examples
 were paper, glass, tins, and garden. The
amount
Use synonyms
 of paper collected was in a
decrease
Change the verb form
decreasing
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 trend, dropping from 57
tons
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 in 2011 to 40
tons
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 in 2013 and
then
Linking Words
increased
Wrong verb form
increasing
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 again, reaching 70
tons
Use synonyms
 in 2015. The figure has been always in first
place
Use synonyms
 among the 4 groups, except in 2013 in
Linking Words
second
Change the article
the second
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 spot. The
second
Linking Words
place
Use synonyms
 was
glass
Correct article usage
the glass
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 collection during the
period
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, except in 2013 when it replaced the paper collection in the first
place
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. After 2013, it dropped to
second
Linking Words
place
Use synonyms
 again, ending up in 52 tones in 2015. The
Use synonyms
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of tins and garden collected respectively
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 were in the
third
Linking Words
 and the fourth
place
Use synonyms
. The figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 tins varied from the lowest, 27
tons
Use synonyms
 in 2012 to 39
tons
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
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. The
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
garden fluctuated slightly as well with 15
tons
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, the lowest in 2012 to 35
tons
Use synonyms
 in 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, during the
period
Use synonyms
, the
Use synonyms
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of collections in all four types of
wastes
Fix the agreement mistake
waste
show examples
 presented
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 similar trend in all individual
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
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, except in 2013 when the glass was collected mostly.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "second".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words amount, period, tons, place with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrated" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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