IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Successful sports professional can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#sports #money #people #professions
It is true that sports personalities have paid a huge amount of salary all over the world, but other professionals do not get
this
 much of money. People have different views regarding
this
. While some people argue that
this
 is the right thing, others do not support
this
 and they think that it is unfair.
However
, I believe that
sportspeople
 should be paid well. On the one hand, a growing number of people argue that the sports guys should receive a big salary. They claim that these people have worked very hard to achieve
this
 level. They sacrificed their happiness, fun, regular life in childhood and only full and fully worked for their ultimate goal.
For example
, the world-famous athlete Usain Bolt, he had born in an ordinary family in Jamaica and he started to run at the age of six, from that day onwards he and his family put all the courage and financial for his Olympic dream,
finally
, he won the Olympic gold medal and
also
 he had made the world unbeatable record as fastest runner.
Therefore
, sports celebrities get paid huge money is not unfair.
On the other hand
, a few people think
that is
 not fair because of other professions like doctor, teacher, engineer, the scientist who help more for the country and people to develop but they do not get paid massive payment as sports individuals.
For instance
, the teacher who involved their entire life to provide the knowledge to make bright students for future, same as that the doctors work hard to cure the diseases from patients. Those professionals
also
 contribute as much as they can, but their salary was little.
Therefore
 sports athletes' payments are not accepted by these people. In conclusion,
sportspeople
 should be paid well, but other important jobs should be paid with their standards to afford a wealthy life.
Submitted by lazerharen on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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