IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Why people who leave school are more successful compare to those who complete their studies. Reasons why they are more successful and what is require to be successful.

#people #school #studies
It is commonly observed that people leaving school without completing the education are more progressed
instead
 of those who complete their studies, before starting a job or
business
. In my opinion, the reason of
success
 of
such
 people is the reach experience they gain at a young age and their passion for
work
. I consider that hard
work
 and dedication to
work
 is necessary to achieve
success
. People who do not complete their academic education are usually more successful as compared to others owing to early identification of their zeal.
In other words
, most teenagers leave school when they get to know that some
work
 interest them more than studies.
Therefore
, they start following that passion, leaving the study in between.
As a result
 of working at a young age, they gain rich experience in their field until other youths enter that
business
.
For instance
, actors who start working in films at a young age are usually much more trained in acting field and they become famous before even entering adulthood.
Additionally
, following their passion make them do great things in their endeavours, which
also
 act as an added advantage towards their
success
. It is believed by many people that hard
work
 and dedication are key to
success
. Usually, people who do jobs just to make earnings do not put their hundred percent into it. Mostly, people who are not satisfied with their
work
 type do not show the much-needed dedication towards completing their duties.
As a result
, these people lack behind in career as well as in
business
.
Therefore
, hardworking employees often step up the
success
 ladder faster in comparison to those who comes to office just to get salary at the end of the month. In conclusion, people should be more focused and passionate towards their
work
 if they want to become a successful
business
 tycoon or achieve great height in career.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Self-made
  • Entrepreneur
  • Innovative
  • Real-world experience
  • Practical skills
  • Networking
  • Credentials
  • Dedication
  • Motivation
  • Risk-taking
What to do next:
Look at other essays: