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Writing Samples
Band 7

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages.

#people #risks #lives
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People
 should always seek to achieve greatness and to do so, they will need to take
risks
 whether in their personal or professional lives. There are numerous advantages of taking uncertain
risks
 with very much less impacting disadvantages.
To begin
 with, out of many perhaps, the two main advantages of
risks
 are associated with experience.
Firstly
, change is essential for personal and professional growth. Embracing uncertainty can lead to greater knowledge by gaining several experiences.
For instance
, a businessman who ventures into a new market will often achieve valuable success, which they would not have gained by staying steady.
Therefore
, it is evident that stepping out of comfort zone fosters innovation and progress.
Secondly
, exposure to new experiences. When learning new skills outside the box will open up chances to meet new
people
 and taking a big
risk
 will improve
one
's cognitive skills. On the downside, there are only a few that can be considered as major,
one
 is psychological and the other
one
 is physical.
First,
taking a
risk
 will not always be as fruitful as it seems. Failure to achieve something by taking a new
risk
 may bring embarrassment.
For example
,
people
 who take big
risks
 and do not achieve the result may feel inferior in society. The second
one
 comes in the form of an injury.
People
 who take chances and perform risky sports are prone to get injured more. In conclusion, despite of disadvantages, taking
risks
 can produce more fruitful outcomes if decisions are made carefully provided with
risk
 management.
Submitted by modijainil191919 on

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task achievement
Consider giving more detailed examples for your points. Specific instances help in making your argument more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Your essay structure is sound, but make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Try using more linking words and phrases to enhance the flow.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion provide a clear frame for the essay's arguments.
task achievement
You offer clear and relevant points about the advantages and disadvantages of taking risks.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
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