Many people believe money is a very important factor for achieving happiness. Others, however believe that money has nothing to do with happiness. Discuss both views. and give your opinion.
It is often said that if you want to be happy in
life
, have to earn a myriad of fund
. Fix the agreement mistake
funds
Hence
, there are certain folks who claim that without money
no one
could live their life
free of tension that considered
as being happy. Add a missing verb
is considered
Whereas
, the rest of the individuals think that wealth does not have to do with happiness. Firstly
, this
essay will discuss why people
think that money
is the
must for a happy Correct article usage
a
life
and secondly
, why others think that it is ok to
not to have Correct word choice
okay
money
. Nonetheless
, In my opinion, we do need money
to survive, but for
Change preposition
apply
the
happiness, Correct article usage
apply
it
depends on the person's thinking or beliefs that how he or she looks at Correct pronoun usage
apply
the
things.
On the Correct article usage
apply
one
hand, with money
individual is able to get almost all the needed materials in life
such
as an excellent quality house, latest
car and so on. For some Correct article usage
the latest
people
, if you have this
you considered
Add a missing verb
are considered
as
a happy person. Change preposition
apply
For instance
, according to
the
INDIA's wealthy Correct article usage
apply
people
, 70% of the people
desire to have money
to fulfil their daily requirements as without wealth they could not get.
On the other hand
, with money
, one
is unable to get a loving family, because real
family is the Correct article usage
a real
one
who support
you during all the ups and downs together and never leaves you alone. Change the verb form
supports
This
is
can not Unnecessary verb
apply
achieve
by just having Wrong verb form
be achieved
money
. For example
, according to
the psychology department of the UK research, 60% of the
Correct article usage
apply
people
considered as
happy who Change preposition
apply
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
the
caring and supportive parents and family members like siblings, Correct article usage
apply
grandparents
.
In conclusion, Correct word choice
and grandparents
money
However
provides an opportunity to obtain a luxurious and high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
life
, but happiness comes when individuals feel satisfied with what they have. Owning to the fact that no money
able to get you Add a verb
money is
money was
Add the particle
to stress
stress free
Add a hyphen
stress-free
life
that
only comes with a mature understanding of Correct pronoun usage
apply
life
.Submitted by drsefalipatel on
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task response
The essay addresses the prompt but lacks clear and developed arguments. Focus on providing stronger and more balanced arguments for each view.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Ensure that the structure clearly introduces the topic and summarizes the main points.