Many people believe money is a very important factor for achieving happiness. Others, however believe that money has nothing to do with happiness. Discuss both views. and give your opinion.

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It is often said that if you want to be happy in
life
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, have to earn a myriad of
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
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.
Hence
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, there are certain folks who claim that without
money
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no
one
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could live their
life
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free of tension that
considered
Add a missing verb
is considered
show examples
as being happy.
Whereas
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, the rest of the individuals think that wealth does not have to do with happiness.
Firstly
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,
this
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essay will discuss why
people
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think that
money
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is
the
Correct article usage
a
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must for a happy
life
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and
secondly
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, why others think that it is
ok to
Correct word choice
okay
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not to have
money
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.
Nonetheless
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, In my opinion, we do need
money
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to survive, but
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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happiness,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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depends on the person's thinking or beliefs that how he or she looks at
the
Correct article usage
apply
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things. On the
one
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hand, with
money
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individual is able to get almost all the needed materials in
life
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such
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as an excellent quality house,
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
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car and so on. For some
people
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, if you have
this
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you
considered
Add a missing verb
are considered
show examples
as
Change preposition
apply
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a happy person.
For instance
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,
according to
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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INDIA's wealthy
people
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, 70% of the
people
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desire to have
money
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to fulfil their daily requirements as without wealth they could not get.
On the other hand
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, with
money
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,
one
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is unable to get a loving family, because
real
Correct article usage
a real
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family is the
one
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who
support
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supports
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you during all the ups and downs together and never leaves you alone.
This
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is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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can not
achieve
Wrong verb form
be achieved
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by just having
money
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.
For example
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,
according to
Linking Words
the psychology department of the UK research, 60% of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
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considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
happy who
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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caring and supportive parents and family members like siblings,
grandparents
Correct word choice
and grandparents
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. In conclusion,
money
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However
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provides an opportunity to obtain a luxurious and
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
life
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, but happiness comes when individuals feel satisfied with what they have. Owning to the fact that no
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money
Add a verb
money is
money was
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able to get you
Add the particle
to stress
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stress free
Add a hyphen
stress-free
show examples
life
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that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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only comes with a mature understanding of
life
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.
Submitted by drsefalipatel on

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task response
The essay addresses the prompt but lacks clear and developed arguments. Focus on providing stronger and more balanced arguments for each view.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Ensure that the structure clearly introduces the topic and summarizes the main points.
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