IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do so many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

#people #exercise #time #health
The majority of people who
work
 do not
exercise
, which impacts their lives negatively. The main causes of
this
 issue are the poor
work
-life balance and the fact that many people lead sedentary lifestyles. In order to
tacke
carry out
take
tackle
track
this
 problem, several measures must be taken. The lack of
exercise
 is the result of the fast-paced lives that people lead nowadays. During the working day, people have no energy to
exercise
 as they spend their whole day working in their offices and facing a lot of pressure at
work
. As a consequence, they come home depleted and they want to spend their leisure time relaxing.
For instance
, people in some countries
work
 for over ten hours, which leaves no room for being active. Another issue is that people are not aware of the importance of
exercise
 as they are used to sitting all day. They are unaware of how a sedentary lifestyle causes severe health problems,
such
 as obesity, diabetes, and heart disease. Solving
this
 problem is a shared responsibility between individuals and governments. Individuals should be aware of the benefits of being physically active sine they are responsible for their health. Setting aside time to
exercise
 or stretch everyday is a simple and effective approach.
This
 can be exemplified by people who decide to go to the gym
everyday
Suggestion
every day
 before or after their
work
.
Additionally
, authorities should enact laws to limit the maximum working hours since less working hours means people can become happier and more energized.
As a result
, they are encouraged to take care of themselves by joining gyms, sports clubs, or even exercising at home. In conclusion,
although
 the lack of
exercise
 affects countless people worldwide, effective measures can be taken by both individuals and authorities to eliminate
this
 problem.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Time constraints
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Passive leisure activities
  • Workplace wellness programs
  • Active commuting
  • Subsidized
  • Public awareness
  • Health benefits
  • Incentivizing
  • Accessible public spaces
What to do next:
Look at other essays: