In some countries, there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
More and more youngsters are choosing apprenticeship rather than tertiary
education
in many countries. Use synonyms
While
Linking Words
this
can provide some benefits to these Linking Words
students
, there can be several negative Use synonyms
impacts
on their later Use synonyms
career
life. In my opinion, the disadvantages of Use synonyms
this
choice outweigh the positive Linking Words
impacts
.
It is obvious that on-the-job training benefits young Use synonyms
students
in their early Use synonyms
career
life. Use synonyms
That is
, as Linking Words
Correct article usage
a majoriy
majoriy
of internships are paid, these Correct your spelling
majority
students
can support themselves financially. Use synonyms
As a result
, they can manage their own welfare and their finance early in their lives. Linking Words
In addition
, companies are Linking Words
also
willing to employ Linking Words
such
trainees because the salary they have to pay is much lower than that for a formal graduate employee. Linking Words
This
leads to secure job opportunities for interns, providing them with safe work positions.
Despite these advantages in their early Linking Words
career
, these youngsters have to face a lot of struggles in their later Use synonyms
Use synonyms
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
due to
a lack of formal Linking Words
education
. Use synonyms
For example
, a trainee can encounter problems that cannot be solved by using their experience. In Linking Words
this
case, they might have to seek Linking Words
advices
from seniors who completed Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
college
Add an article
a college
education
, causing their existence in Use synonyms
workplace
less demanding. Another problem is that their pay would not increase as they get older.Add an article
the workplace
This
means that as these people become older, they may need more money for their health or social problems, leaving them with Linking Words
insuffient
financial resources for their daily expenses because their salary remains relatively unchanged.
In conclusion, it can be seen that the number of young Correct your spelling
insufficient
students
choosing vocational training over university Use synonyms
education
is increasing in many nations. It is Use synonyms
also
true that Linking Words
this
trend has both beneficial effects and detrimental Linking Words
impacts
on Use synonyms
those
young people's lives. From my perspective, its devastating Correct determiner usage
apply
impacts
have more weight than the benefits.Use synonyms
Submitted by jennifer.aung122 on
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structure
To enhance the clarity of your essay, ensure each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence indicating the main idea of the paragraph. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
evidence
Consider expanding on specific examples or providing more detailed reasoning to support your main points. This will strengthen your argument and make it more compelling.
cohesion
Ensure the use of links and connectors throughout the essay to improve the flow and transition between paragraphs and ideas.
introduction conclusion
Your introduction succinctly outlines the topic and presents a clear stance, which is effectively reiterated in your conclusion.
task response
You have clearly identified both the advantages and disadvantages of work-based training, showcasing a balanced discussion of the topic.
coherence
The essay is well-organized with a logical progression of ideas from introduction through to conclusion.