IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

There should be laws to control the amount and type of violence shown on television programs. To what extent do u agree/ disagree with this statement.

It is true that there is violence on
TV
Use synonyms
. But it is up to individual choice to watch it or not
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 point of view. Fortunately, we are all free to choose which
TV
Use synonyms
 shows we want to watch. Laws are not really necessary to help us decide. IT is
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
not difficult to find what type of
programs
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 airing on
TV
Use synonyms
 at any point
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 time. Most of the newspapers give information on
TV
Use synonyms
programs
Use synonyms
along with
Linking Words
 their schedule.
Also
Linking Words
 Anyone who watches
TV
Use synonyms
programs
Use synonyms
 regularly
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
or
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
she
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
knows what kind of shows are airing
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
. Because of
Linking Words
this
Punctuation problem
this,
show examples
 it is easy to avoid
programs
Use synonyms
 which are inappropriate on
TV
Use synonyms
. Modern technology has given us a tool for
control
Replace the word
controlling
show examples
 and
monitor
Wrong verb form
monitoring
show examples
Use synonyms
programs
Correct article usage
the programs
show examples
 we see. There is a feature like
block
Wrong verb form
blocking
show examples
 a channel which is inappropriate to watch.
Linking Words
Thus
Punctuation problem
Thus,
show examples
 parents can protect themselves Children
from
Verb problem
should not
show examples
seeing
Wrong verb form
see
show examples
 the shows that are too violent. Adults can
also
Linking Words
 use
this
Linking Words
 technology to avoid showing
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 that they don't want to see. The best thing about
TV
Use synonyms
 is
, It
Correct your spelling
that it
 has a variety of
programs
Use synonyms
Linking Words
for
Punctuation problem
, for
show examples
instance
Punctuation problem
instance,
show examples
 news
programs
Use synonyms
 for serious people,
cartoon
Fix the agreement mistake
cartoons
show examples
 and movies for those who want to be entertained,
sports
Correct word choice
and sports
show examples
programs
Use synonyms
 for game lovers. The variety of shows
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 to be protected if they show some violence . We each have
own
Correct pronoun usage
our own
show examples
 ideas about what is too violent and what isn't. It would be difficult to make laws that would satisfy everyone. It is better to let an individual make their decision.

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structure
Make a clear plan for your essay: start with a short intro that states your view, then write 2 body parts with one main idea each, and finish with a short conclusion.
coherence
Use linking words to show how your ideas fit: also, but, for this, because.
grammar
Fix grammar and keep short, easy lines. Break long sentences.
content
Give one or two real or simple examples to back your point.
stance
You show a clear view that you do not agree with the idea.
content
You raise many ideas on how viewers and parents can use TV tools.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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