FUNDING ART, MUSIC,AND FILIM IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FUNDING PUBLIC STRUCTURE.AGREE OR DISAGREE

Although
funding for public improvement have many obvious positive
affects
property of a personal character that is portable but not used in business
effects
to the development of the society, there are many argues that the
entertainment
should get a greater care from responsible authorities.
Personally I
Accept comma addition
Personally, I
do not agree with
this
claim because the
essencial
absolutely necessary; vitally necessary
essential
essentials
essence
of equality of both
stratergies
an elaborate and systematic plan of action
strategies
. On the one hand, providing financial support to improve the quality of
entertainment
activities
such
as art, music and film could be very
benificial
promoting or enhancing well-being
beneficial
. It is clear that, when people receive a higher quality of
entertainment
, the citizen's satisfy level will be increased.
For example
, if fine art
is invested
Suggestion
has invested
is investing
invests
more which allow artists have greater ability to express their work, there will be more
tallent
natural abilities or qualities
talent
tolerant
talented
studens
a learner who is enrolled in an educational institution
students
persua
carry out or participate in an activity; be involved in
pursue
their passionate.
Moreover
, if film makers get an appropriate support, they will tend to make movies with a better content
such
as educational documentary or historical movies which indirectly educate
general population
Suggestion
the general population
.
Additionally
, when having high quality
entertainment
, the
commulity
a group of people living in a particular local area
community
could be
satisfy
Suggestion
satisfied
with what they have
instead
of searching for many foreign sources which probably provide undesirable contents.
On the other hand
, when focusing on improving public services, the government could be able to cope with many social issues.
Firstly
, it is obvious that to improve a country
intellectural
of or associated with or requiring the use of the mind
intellectual
level, the responsible authorities should give a sustainable expenditure on education. Many evidences have addressed that a strong nation is depended on the
up coming
of the relatively near future
upcoming
generations who should have an appropriate knowledge and skills to due
with
Suggestion
to
many contemporary issues
such
as environmental pollution and economic growth.
Secondly
,
health
care
also
a key factor should be taken into account. As a negative affect
accomulated
periodically accumulated over time
accumulated
gradually by human living activities, nowadays, people have to face with many serious
health
problems which require a significant medical involvement in all around the world. In
this
case, the
health
care system
do need
Suggestion
does need
a long term investment to keep up with the dynamic situation of global
health
. In conclusion, based on the importance of both
entertainments
Suggestion
entertainment
and social services, governments should have a balanced expenditure to keep the society
developt
being changed over time so as to be e.g. stronger or more complete or more useful
developed
develop
develops
comprehensively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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