FUNDING ART, MUSIC,AND FILIM IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FUNDING PUBLIC STRUCTURE.AGREE OR DISAGREE

#art #music #filim #structure

Although

funding for public improvement have many obvious positive

affects

property of a personal character that is portable but not used in business

effects

to the development of the society, there are many argues that the

entertainment

should get a greater care from responsible authorities.

Personally I

Accept comma addition

Personally, I

do not agree with

this

claim because the

essencial

absolutely necessary; vitally necessary

essential

essentials

essence

of equality of both

stratergies

an elaborate and systematic plan of action

strategies

. On the one hand, providing financial support to improve the quality of

entertainment

activities

such

as art, music and film could be very

benificial

promoting or enhancing well-being

beneficial

. It is clear that, when people receive a higher quality of

entertainment

, the citizen's satisfy level will be increased.

For example

, if fine art

is invested

Suggestion

has invested

is investing

invests

more which allow artists have greater ability to express their work, there will be more

tallent

natural abilities or qualities

talent

tolerant

talented

studens

a learner who is enrolled in an educational institution

students

persua

carry out or participate in an activity; be involved in

pursue

their passionate.

Moreover

, if film makers get an appropriate support, they will tend to make movies with a better content

such

as educational documentary or historical movies which indirectly educate

general population

Suggestion

the general population

Additionally

, when having high quality

entertainment

, the

commulity

a group of people living in a particular local area

community

could be

satisfy

Suggestion

satisfied

with what they have

instead

of searching for many foreign sources which probably provide undesirable contents.

On the other hand

, when focusing on improving public services, the government could be able to cope with many social issues.

Firstly

, it is obvious that to improve a country

intellectural

of or associated with or requiring the use of the mind

intellectual

level, the responsible authorities should give a sustainable expenditure on education. Many evidences have addressed that a strong nation is depended on the

up coming

of the relatively near future

upcoming

generations who should have an appropriate knowledge and skills to due

with

Suggestion

many contemporary issues

such

as environmental pollution and economic growth.

Secondly

health

care

also

a key factor should be taken into account. As a negative affect

accomulated

periodically accumulated over time

accumulated

gradually by human living activities, nowadays, people have to face with many serious

health

problems which require a significant medical involvement in all around the world. In

this

case, the

health

care system

do need

Suggestion

does need

a long term investment to keep up with the dynamic situation of global

health

. In conclusion, based on the importance of both

entertainments

Suggestion

entertainment

and social services, governments should have a balanced expenditure to keep the society

developt

being changed over time so as to be e.g. stronger or more complete or more useful

developed

develop

develops

comprehensively.

Sun Mar 08 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS writing?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

342 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
You recently ordered a small item online but when it arrived it was unusable. Write a letter to the company that sold you the item. In the letter: give details about the order you made explain what was wrong with the item tell the company what you want them to do about it
I am writing this email to formally complain about the Toastmaster product that I purchased from your store on the 25th of November 2023. I am disappointed with this product because it did not meet the quality standards that I associated with the reputation of your store. Please allow me to explain.
7
band
Many believe that living in a city offers greater benefits compared to life in the countryside. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some people argue that people who live in a city obtain more advantages than those who live in the countryside. Generally, this might be true as a metropolitan city is advertised as a city that is full of opportunities. But, I partially agree with that statement since it is applied to some particular conditions only, which will be discussed in the following paragraph.
6.5
band
Fresh water has always been a limited resource in some parts of the world. Today, however, growing worldwide demand has made this a global problem. What are the causes of the increased demand, what measurements can governments and individuals take to respond to this problem?
The increasing demand for freshwater has become a recent trend throughout the world, whereas in certain areas this natural resource is in short supply. There are various reasons for this, but measures could be taken to tackle the problem.
7.5
band
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. An English-speaking friend wants to spend a two-week holiday in your region and has written asking for information and advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter offer to find somewhere for your friend to stay give advice about what to do and see in your area give information about what clothes to bring You should write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Maria,
I'm thrilled that you're planning to stay in my city for a two-week vacation. It's been quite a minute since we met and ate our favourite Panipuri. I'd be honored if you would like to stay with me and I'll show you around.
8
band
Some people believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old. Others believe that it is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In this modern era, The race of becoming successful in life is growing rapidly. On the other hand, The pressure of it is consuming children's childhood and innocence. It is obvious that one should be focused on their goals in life. but at what price? I will explain a logical conclusion about people's beliefs on the to sided faces of whether children should go to school or stay at home and play.

FUNDING ART, MUSIC,AND FILIM IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FUNDING PUBLIC STRUCTURE.AGREE OR DISAGREE

Include an introduction and conclusion

You recently ordered a small item online but when it arrived it was unusable. Write a letter to the company that sold you the item. In the letter: give details about the order you made explain what was wrong with the item tell the company what you want them to do about it

Many believe that living in a city offers greater benefits compared to life in the countryside. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fresh water has always been a limited resource in some parts of the world. Today, however, growing worldwide demand has made this a global problem. What are the causes of the increased demand, what measurements can governments and individuals take to respond to this problem?

Some people believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old. Others believe that it is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.