The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

With increasing obese population, health care system is struggling to deal with
fitness
issues. One can argue that, the best way is to encourage students to participate in physical education programs,
however
, better approach will be a combined effort of both teachers and parents to promote exercise and sports in young children. Dealing with the issues surrounding obesity is best solved by taking
long term approach
Suggestion
a long term approach
and introducing sports and
fitness
in a child's daily routine. Parents should actively participate in
fitness
activities with their youth to build a strong habit. Children with early exposure to sports often show a lifelong commitment to it,
however parents
Accept comma addition
however, parents
should be careful, not to force children, rather teach them to enjoy it. Presently in India schools does not emphasize on sports,
however
with increasing awareness in well-being and
fitness
, more and more schools are adapting new curriculum with increased physical education programs. Schools plays an important role in the overall growth of a child, with teachers and parents both being involved, it will have a lasting effect. Introduction of
more health
Suggestion
healthier
and exercise programs will promote a healthy competition among students,
as a result
, there will be an increase in the percentage of students joining these lessons. In conclusion, in order to deal with an obesity epidemic, changes in the lifestyle of the coming generation are mandatory. Healthy changes in kid daily routine by both parents and teachers will certainly decrease the number of overweight children and
as a result
will reduce the strain on healthcare systems.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Try other services:

All the services are free for Premium users