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Band 5

The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #strain #health #care #system #effort #education #lessons #school #curriculum
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With increasing obese population, health care system is struggling to deal with
fitness
Use synonyms
 issues. One can argue that, the best way is to encourage students to participate in physical education programs,
however
Linking Words
, better approach will be a combined effort of both teachers and parents to promote exercise and sports in young children. Dealing with the issues surrounding obesity is best solved by taking
long term approach
Suggestion
a long term approach
 and introducing sports and
fitness
Use synonyms
 in a child's daily routine. Parents should actively participate in
fitness
Use synonyms
 activities with their youth to build a strong habit. Children with early exposure to sports often show a lifelong commitment to it,
Linking Words
however parents
Accept comma addition
however, parents
 should be careful, not to force children, rather teach them to enjoy it. Presently in India schools does not emphasize on sports,
however
Linking Words
 with increasing awareness in well-being and
fitness
Use synonyms
, more and more schools are adapting new curriculum with increased physical education programs. Schools plays an important role in the overall growth of a child, with teachers and parents both being involved, it will have a lasting effect. Introduction of
more health
Suggestion
healthier
 and exercise programs will promote a healthy competition among students,
as a result
Linking Words
, there will be an increase in the percentage of students joining these lessons. In conclusion, in order to deal with an obesity epidemic, changes in the lifestyle of the coming generation are mandatory. Healthy changes in kid daily routine by both parents and teachers will certainly decrease the number of overweight children and
as a result
Linking Words
 will reduce the strain on healthcare systems.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity rates
  • health care system
  • physical education
  • instill
  • long term
  • raise awareness
  • healthier lifestyle choices
  • nutritional education
  • active transport
  • quality of instruction
  • facilities and equipment
  • diet control initiatives
  • community sports programs
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