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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some school leavers go traveling or work for a period of time instead of going directly to university. Do you think this has more advantages, or disadvantages on their study？

#school #leavers #work #period #time #university #study？
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Nowadays, a part of
students
Use synonyms
 choose to travel or work
instead
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 of continuing to go to campus after graduating.
Although
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 social experiences could cut the educational continuous, I believe real-life lessons will give them intangible wealth. The advantage of travelling or work is letting
students
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 familiar with society. Most school leavers don't know the struggle of earning
money
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, so they have fun on campus spending their parents'
money
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.
For instance
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, some
students
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 play video games in class or spend lots of
money
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 to buy luxuries
instead
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 of
hard-working
Verb problem
working
show examples
. If they know how hard to earn
money
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, they will pay more attention to their academic performance.
Besides
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,
students
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 could have a chance to touch real working life, they have a chance to change their major. The coins have two faces, just like a job.
For example
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, people who want to be a teacher only know the comfortable vocation but ignore the unlimited patience to teach tricky
students
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. If they had a period of work experience, they could know the difficulties of teaching and consider whether to become a teacher in the future.
On the other hand
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, gap studying leads
students
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 to forget their knowledge and studying statements. Working is to use your brain to repeat and create financial benefits. Salary provides a stable and circular lifestyle, so it is hard to give up learning new knowledge. If a driver is already an expert in driving and gets enough
money
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 to live, It is hard for him to study English from zero like a child. In conclusion, social experiences can broaden
students
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' vision and give them chances to choose their way of life. The period will affect their study life,
although
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 may stop the
continues
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continuation
show examples
 of studying.
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introduction conclusion present
Ensure the introduction and conclusion are both present and fully developed. The introduction should clearly present the topic and your stance, while the conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your position, providing closure to the essay.
logical structure
Work on creating a more logical structure by clearly organizing your ideas into paragraphs, each with a singular main point, and using cohesive devices to link these ideas effectively. This makes your argument easier to follow and strengthens the overall coherence of your essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
Providing clear and comprehensive development of your ideas is essential. Spend sufficient time on each point to fully explain and support it with evidence or examples before moving on to the next point.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate more specific examples relevant to the point being made. These examples should be detailed enough to convincingly support the argument and illustrate the point in question.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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