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Band 7

Subjects such as art, sport and music are being dropped from the school curriculum for subjects like information technology. Many children suffer as a result of these changes. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#subjects #art #sport #music #school #curriculum #information #technology #children #changes
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In the contemporary era, there is a heated argument over the issue
that is
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 subjects
such
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 as art, sport and music are being dropped from school academic because these subjects are not much useful to build outstanding career. Some people
also
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 believe that these subjects have been replaced with core subjects like information technology, computer and so on. A lion's share of society favours it.
However
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, the rest goes averse it. The following paragraph would highlight my personal perspective along with apt example. I do not see eye to eye with a central idea for various reasons.
First
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 and foremost, all schools have to focus on an overall personality development of students rather than choose those subjects which only required to learn when take up as a career related point of view. In fact, nowadays diverse fields like music, art, dancing, had a greater scope to turn dreams into reality.
Moreover
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, these subjects learning
also
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 helpful to identify the hidden talent of students because not everyone wants to do a job in IT industries.
Secondly
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, by considering these former subjects students can aware about what's happening around them. So, schools have to choose subjects as per the interest of students.
As a result
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, they can studies that particular subject with more concentration power and effectiveness.
On the other hand
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, People believe that subjects like music, arts, and dancing were the only way of distraction from studies. They believe that if they studied core subjects like information technology and computers in former school days, so they gain some basic knowledge about it which helpful to build a better career and get a more job opportunities. To substantiate there is an epitome of rapid growth of IT sector. To conclude, I would like to state that both
point
Suggestion
points
 of view are relevant and valid. But I believe that the
first
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 view is more effective and powerful. So, school curriculum have to add
this
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 subjects.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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