Many people think that every individual is responsible for their happiness, but some people believe there are other external factors that influence us. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #happiness #factors #influence

It is a debatable idea that, people can be happy their life if they concentrate on them

Accept space

another believe that some other

acivities

any specific behavior

activities

are makes masses happy

Accept space

According to my opinion

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a human being more happy if they will think rather than other people, both views will discuss in the upcoming paragraphs. To embark with, those who's

believe

Suggestion

believes

people can live happy, if they live separately because in

this

busy world, nobody have time to spend with other masses. The human

are

Suggestion

very busy in

thier

of them or themselves

their

daily routine and they will not get time to spend with friend and family. Because of the less interaction with

another

not the same one or ones already mentioned or implied

other

folks they will not stay happy. For

Suggestion

example, in the

foregin

of concern to or concerning the affairs of other nations (other than your own)

foreign

countries, people are independent and they are not willing to share their

feeling

Suggestion

feelings

with another human.

Moreover

Suggestion

this time its

this

time its very hard to express the emotion in front of others, so masses believe that, they can live happy without sharing their emotional with

another

not the same one or ones already mentioned or implied

other

people. To be more precise, if someone

Suggestion

his feelings with others than they are

statring

a turn to be a starter (in a game at the beginning)

starting

staring

stating

makes

Suggestion

make

jokes

Suggestion

about

that person in the front of others.

However

, who's has different thought regarding

this

, some family members are very attached to each others and they will not be hidden from other families. They are expecting that,

every thing

all things

everything

which is happening the home will discuss with all

Accept space

For

Suggestion

example, in the

india

either extremity of something that has length

end

most people live in the joint family

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so love to express their feelings with others members. Along with it, some other factors

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like rewards for hard working, promotions

also makes

Suggestion

also make

people happier. If they are doing hardworking at the workplace and not rewards or appreciate

Accept space

it will hurt to

human

Suggestion

humans

inside very badly. To more justify, these external factors

makes

Suggestion

make

folks more happier of they will

getting

Suggestion

get

their rewards, so they will more concentrate on

thier

of them or themselves

their

duties. At the end, human are more responsible for

thier

of them or themselves

their

happiness if they concentrate on them rather to depend on other factors.

Submitted by manwindersingh1408093 on Sun Mar 08 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

341 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people think that every individual is responsible for their happiness, but some people believe there are other external factors that influence us. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries,more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Some people think more public money should be spent on roads and motorways than on public transport systems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Is fast food to blame for obesity in society or is gaining too much weight the responsibility of the individual? What factors contribute to obesity? Why do you think that children are becoming obese?

The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2000, there may be as many as 29 million vehicles on British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Stress is now a major problem in many countries around the world. What are some of the factors in modern society that cause this stress, and how can we reduce it?