IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind the bars. To what extent do you agree?

#people #prisoners #community #work #bars
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Everywhere in the world, nations are faced by some people who commit crimes. Somebody believes that putting some people in jails is not a good idea and
instead
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, the government should enforce prisoners to participate in social activities for free. I agree with
this
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 idea and I reckon, working unpaid is better than sending persons to jail. In
this
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 essay, we are going to discuss the advantages and disadvantages of free work by certain guilty persons
instead
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 of being these persons in jails. Since keeping persons as a prisoner requires a huge budget to expend for food, cloth, health and so on, so it is not easy for states to afford the costs, the monies can spend in other fields like education.
Furthermore
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, there are many people in prisons who are delinquent or just arrested because of financial reasons like bankruptcy or even small crimes
such
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 as hitting someone by accident. Keeping
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this people
Suggestion
these people
this person
 has negative influence on them. On the top of that,
such
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 prisoner has families who need them, undoubtedly.
Thus
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, it is not a good idea to put
such
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 people behind the bars. They can work for governments for free
such
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 as, training their skills to others or making food for poor people. Applicant works are not advised for all offenders, of course. Most of the people who commit crimes are dangerous for society and have potential to break the law again. Because of that, getting
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this people
Suggestion
these people
this person
 out of the jail leads to anarchy, raising the illegal works and diminution of security in the community. To conclude, in my opinion, the government can reduce the number of prisoners by replacing their punishments and force some of them to do volunteer activities and expend the extra jail's budget in education and teaching the right way to live.
Submitted by rahimifzr on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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