Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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Technological advancement has been giving countless entertainment things, especially for children.

However

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, it becomes addictive for them, and in some cases, they refuse to do other activities.

This

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phenomenon is a negative development and

this

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essay will explain the reasons why kids can spend the majority of their

time

Use synonyms

with smartphones. The main reason for

this

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issue is the addictive effect of mobile phones. Children could get

this

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fun experience from playing games, and every

time

Use synonyms

they win or lose they will feel satisfied. They find it more amusing than going out to play outdoors.

For example

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, in the past, kids spent their free

time

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in the park playing with their friends,

while

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nowadays they just sit comfortably in their rooms and are allowed to meet strangers online without getting tired physically.

Consequently

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, they prefer to stay in a long

time

Use synonyms

with their smartphones because of

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

convenience.

Therefore

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, I believe it is a negative output as they should concentrate on their academics and socialize with others of their age.

Although

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playing games has a positive impact

Change preposition

show examples

their creativity skills, there are other paramount skills they should gain in order to become successful individuals. Networking,

for instance

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, is a skill that people can learn at

such

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a young age, they could learn it by communicating with others in the playground. They

also

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will learn how to be kind to others, and definitely, they cannot get it from

Internet

Add an article

the Internet

show examples

Thus

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, if they continuously keep

this

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habit, it will hinder their development as wise and productive persons. In conclusion, offspring tend to waste their days with gadgets because

Change preposition

of it

show examples

convenience and satisfaction they get. I am firmly convinced that they should focus on their studies and personal development

sidneynatasha16Thu Dec 28 2023

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structure

Ensure that the introduction includes a clear thesis statement that sets out what the essay will discuss. The conclusion should succinctly summarize the argument made in the essay without introducing new points.

structure

Use paragraphing to organize ideas clearly. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea, with a clear topic sentence that links back to the overall question.

content

Make sure you provide specific examples to support your points, which are required for a higher band score.

language

Use a variety of linking words and phrases to help the reader follow the argument. Avoid repetition and make sure that cohesion devices do not disrupt the flow of ideas.

task response

Fully address all parts of the task in order to meet the task achievement criterion. This means discussing both sides of the argument if the prompt asks for them, and ensuring that you provide a clear opinion.

content

Develop ideas comprehensively by exploring consequences, comparing, contrasting, or considering causes and implications. This depth of development is characteristic of higher band scores.

language

Use a broader range of vocabulary and grammatical structures to avoid errors and repetition, and to articulate ideas precisely and accurately.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

287 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Your opinion

Some people believe that it is the responsibility of politicians, rather than individuals, to reduce the world's environmental damage. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people prefer to eat at food stands or restaurants. Other people prefer to prepare and eat food at home. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Today more and more people want things instantly (e.g goods, services, news). Why is this? Is this positive or negative development?

One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?