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Writing Samples
Band 6

Many claim that the fast food industry had a negative impact on the environment ,eating habits and families. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

6.0 / 9
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Introduction
People believe that the fast
food
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 industry is a primary reason behind the ruin of eating habits, family disputes and disruption of nature. I agree with the statement that
this
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 sector has brought a lot of changes in people's life but most of them are negative.
Body paragraph 1
Firstly
Linking Words
, the most impacted part of society by fast
food
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 outlets is youth. The
food
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 made in these restaurants lacks nutritional value because it is cooked in multiple steps before it is served to the customers to save time. Take an example of a processed junior chicken burger, it would take them less than a minute to make because of pre-cooked patties, frozen vegetables and
a
Correct article usage
the
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 same cooking oil for days. On top of it, these fast
food
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 chains add a large amount of preservatives to provide longevity and to increase the shelf life of their stock. These days youngsters eat all the time from these places
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 leads to
helath
Correct your spelling
health
 issues like diabetes, obesity and poor development of the brain and body. In a recent survey, obesity in kids surged to 140
percent
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per cent
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 since the year 1990
due to
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 eating calorie-dense
food
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.
Body paragraph 2
Secondly
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, people have no choice but to eat from these restaurants because of their busy lifestyles. It is nearly impossible to raise a family with a single household income because of the increase in inflation and consumerism.
Hence
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, both of the parents have to work to provide for their family , which results in very little or no time for cooking or
to spend
Wrong verb form
spending time
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 with their children.
Due to
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 advancements in technology, it is so easy to order
food
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 online
that is
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 delivered warm straight to their door, which is really tempting. So, they just ignore the studies and facts about the negative impact of eating junk
food
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 on their body and families.
Body paragraph 3
Finally
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, the fast
food
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 industry needs huge amounts of packaging materials from the transportation of raw materials to the final order for their consumers.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it requires refrigeration for months to meet the surging demand from their purchasers.
This
Linking Words
 whole process demands devastating amounts of energy consumption that harm nature by releasing CO2 and methane gases
in
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into
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 the environment.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
while
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 fast
food
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 caters to the demands of a fast-paced lifestyle, its widespread negative impacts on individual health, family dynamics, and the environment are undeniable. Relying on processed meals daily creates lasting harm that outweighs any temporary convenience.

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task response
State your view more fully in the first part. Say that you agree to a great extent, then name the three areas: health, family life, and the environment.
task response
Keep all three parts of the question equally clear. The health part is strong, but the family part needs a more direct link to family problems, such as fewer shared meals, less talk, and less time with children.
task response
Explain the environment point with one clear chain: more fast food orders need more boxes, bags, travel, and cold storage; these cause more waste and use more power.
task response
Use care with facts. The survey about child obesity may help, but it needs a clear source. If you cannot give one, use a general example instead.
coherence and cohesion
Your four-part plan is easy to follow: opening, health, family life, environment, and ending. Keep this clear order in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
Make the first line of each body part show its main idea more directly. For example: “Fast food can damage young people’s health.”
coherence and cohesion
Some long sentences hold too many ideas. Split them into two or three short sentences, especially in the second and third body parts.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. “Firstly”, “Secondly”, and “Finally” work well, but add links inside each part, such as “As a result” and “For this reason”, to show cause and effect.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid small off-topic detail. The point about one household income is useful only if you quickly connect it to less time to cook and less family time.
task response
You answer all main parts of the question: eating habits, family life, and the environment.
task response
Your view is clear from the start and stays the same through the essay.
task response
The health paragraph gives clear causes and results, such as processed food, obesity, and poor health.
coherence and cohesion
Each body part has one main focus, so the reader can follow your ideas easily.
coherence and cohesion
The ending clearly returns to your main view and brings the three points together.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental pollution
  • packaging waste
  • high energy consumption
  • convenience
  • marketing strategies
  • unhealthy eating habits
  • high consumption of fats
  • processed foods
  • family dynamics
  • home-cooked meals
  • healthier options
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