The obesity rate among teenagers has increased dramatically in many developed countries. Discuss some possible reasons for this increase and suggest solution.

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The obesity has become a major concern in recent years, most youngsters are suffering with

this

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problem, especially in wealthy nations.

This

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essay will explain the causes and possible solutions to overcome

this

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contentious issue. There are two main factors associated with it;

however

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, the most important one is a lack of exercise. The growing popularity of video games has reduced physical activities among young children and they spend most of their time to play computer games.

For example

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, A recent survey by the United States demonstrated that 75% of Australian children preferred video games

instead

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of playing with friends in the park.

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, junk

food

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is replacing home- made meal. Nowadays, both parents are working and they do not have enough to cook

food

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at home, so they give a pocket money to their offsprings. In most cases of, America

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money is spent by children on processed items

instead

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of buying health dishes.

Thus

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, lack of physical activity and ready-made meal lead to the obesity disease. With regards to solutions, both parents and government can play an important role to solve

this

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problem.

Firstly

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, parent should not only teach the importance of fresh fruits and vegetables, but

also

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provide them a fresh and home- cooked meal.

Secondly

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, government can restrict sales of junk foodstuff and soft drinks at school cafeteria. They should allow to keep only fruits at school canteen

instead

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of junk meal. These two steps can assist to mitigate

this

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issue at a greater extent. In conclusion, increasing obesity disease among youngsters is an extremely serious issue. If it is not taken seriously, it may have detrimental consequences for future generations

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, so parents and government authorities can overcome

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problem by teaching the benefits of healthy

food

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and restricting sales of unhealthy

food

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at school.

sarbjit012Sun Mar 08 2020

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

300 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

dramatically
prevalence
addictive
sedentary lifestyle
screen time
gadgets
exertion
awareness
balanced diet
incorporate
nutritional education
facilitating
impose
regulations
restricting
promote

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The obesity rate among teenagers has increased dramatically in many developed countries. Discuss some possible reasons for this increase and suggest solution.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schols. others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace (e.g. at home, when travelling, etc.). Do the benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think it is a good thing for senior managers to have much higher salaries than other workers in a company. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think the main purpose of school is to turn children into good citizens and workers, rather than to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Computers and AI technology are incersingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experiment? Is this a positive or negative development?