Eating too much sugar is harmful to health. Some people think it is the government’s responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption, while others think it is an individual’s responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
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Nowadays eating habits have been affected by changes in use of it. There are different ideas in
people
's lifestyles. Sugar
sugar
Remove the redundancy
apply
consumption
is increasing, although
it is not healthy and it is required they limitAdd an article
the
this
regard, one group believes that it is the government's task to control sugar
usage
while
the other group reckon that it is human beings' responsibility to take care of it.In this
essay, I will consider both sides and give my own view.
Governments
try to provide their citizens with proper healthcare systems and help them to be healthy.In some people
's opinion as the governments
have authority, it is their job to decrease the consumption
of sugar
by enacting some rules.For example
, Prohibit the food commercials advertisements which have high levels of sugar
.This
group believe that governments
should consider the budget for some activities that can help to decrease sugar
consumption
.For instance
, hold some campaigns with the purpose of advertising the disadvantages of sugar
usage
and encourage nations to stop using too much.
Although
I think governments
can help to reduce the use of sugar
, I believe that it is the individual's responsibility to care about the amount of sugar
usage
because it is something that relates to our health
directly and everybody is responsible for their own health
condition.It is clear that
when people
try to cut off eating sugar
it is more cost-effective than when governments
take action and do special things.Furthermore
, it is undeniable that these days people
due to
their hectic schedule eat more fast foods and processed foods which include a lot of sugar
, but if they try to take a little bit of time and cook and eat homemade food they can be able to lessen their sugar
consumption
that would be fruitful for their health
and reduce the medical cost.
In conclusion, high amounts of sugar
usage
can endanger health
. It is a controversial topic whether it is the government's job or Individual duty to limit sugar
consumption
, but I believe that if people
can reduce and limit their usage
it will be more cost-friendly and easy.Submitted by ghazale on
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Structure
Try to present your ideas more clearly by structuring paragraphs around one main idea each.
Cohesion
Use a broader range of cohesive devices to connect ideas more smoothly.
Examples
Include more relevant examples to support your arguments, especially from real-life scenarios, to enhance your essay's persuasive power.
Sentence Variety
Work on varying sentence structures to make your writing more engaging and complex.
Task Achievement
You discussed both views and provided a personal opinion, fulfilling the essay's requirements.
Logical Structure
Your essay has a clear logical structure, making it easy to follow your arguments.
Introduction & Conclusion
You successfully introduced and concluded your essay, framing your discussion effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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