IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people believe that kids today are more protected than earlier generations. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this viewpoint?

#people #kids #generations
The main difference of Brazil, as a Latin country, is the informal environment inside and outside classrooms in relation to The United States.
This
 cultural aspect reflects into three principal characteristics.
Firstly
, the
relationship
 with teachers and professors are similar to a friendship rather than a formal
relationship
 as it is common in most English-speaking countries, as a consequence, teacher-student
relationship
 should be established based on friendship rather than authority, and certain attitudes that would be considered disrespectful in The United States are common in Brazil.
For instance
, teachers are called by their
first
 name, and sharing pieces of personal information with students tend to be a great asset.
Secondly
, Brazilian culture is warmer than North American, thanks to the warm weather and Latin tradition,
consequently
 having different customs of social touching and interpretation of personal space. Unsurprisingly,
this
 cultural aspect reflects inside classroom.
As a result
, hugs and closer
relationship
 between professionals and students are allowed and expected. Educational professionals who are distant are less appreciate for students and have more difficulties to hold pupils’ attention.
Finally
, Brazilian schoolchildren tend to have more problematic
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
 in comparison to Americans thanks to the informal environment, as side conversations,
lateness
Suggestion
late
 or leaving early, and inappropriate
cellphone
Suggestion
cell phone
 and laptop usage in class.
Therefore
, despite being friendly with students, teachers must limit and deal effectively with these
behaviors
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviours
, improving students’ participation and reducing distraction. To conclude, the key differences in culture, which include closer
relationship
 with students as well as informal environment in class, will require open minded and energetic educators.
Submitted by bele_sales on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: