IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Tourism is becoming increasingly important as a source of revenue to many countries, but its disadvantages should not be overlooked. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#tourism #source #revenue #countries
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Nowadays, many countries search for new ways to make revenue and
tourism
Use synonyms
 consider a good source of
counties
Suggestion
county
county's
 revenue. While some people think that there are many disadvantages of
tourism
Use synonyms
 and countries could not ignore them, others believe the disadvantages not important and countries should ignore them. I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 as there are many disadvantages of
tourism
Use synonyms
effect
the conscious subjective aspect of feeling or emotion
affect
 the countries.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the negative sides of
tourism
Use synonyms
 followed by a conclusion. To start with, there are several negative impacts of
tourism
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
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,
tourism
Use synonyms
 increase the risk of
lose
Suggestion
losing
 the traditional values of the countries. Due to
this
Linking Words
, mixing many people from different background may cause mixing the traditional values and lose it in a long period.
Secondly
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,
tourism
Use synonyms
 could negatively
effect
have an effect upon
affect
 the traditional
language
Use synonyms
 of
countries
Suggestion
the countries
. Because people of host countries may start using different
language
Use synonyms
 to deal with tourists and that may lead to lose the traditional
language
Use synonyms
 of that
countries
Suggestion
country
.
For example
Linking Words
, many countries that have many tourists their citizen start to lose their traditional
language
Use synonyms
 due to the use of different languages to be able to talk with tourists.
In addition
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,
tourism
Use synonyms
 may increase the
pressure
Use synonyms
 on countries services and infrastructure.
This
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 is because the tourist will cause more
pressure
Use synonyms
 of the transportation system and medical services.
As a result
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, host countries will pay more money to support these services to be able to
provides
Suggestion
provide
 the local and foreign people with needed services.
For instance
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, a lot of countries who have a large number of
tourism
Use synonyms
 suffer from the increasing the
pressure
Use synonyms
 on their infrastructure and services. In conclusion, there are many disadvantages of
tourism
Use synonyms
 that should be in consideration
such
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 as the risk of losing the traditional values and
language
Use synonyms
 of host countries.
Also
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 increase the
pressure
Use synonyms
 on services and countries infr
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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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