The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Scientific breakthroughs are rapidly changing our lifestyle on
this
planet in the twenty-first century. Many claim
that alleviating the quality of citizen's Change to a plural noun
claims
life
ought to be the priority of scientific endeavors
. I wholeheartedly endorse Change the spelling
endeavours
this
viewpoint owing to the higher levels of convenience and affordability associated with it.
On the one hand, scientists constantly introduce advanced technologies that facilitate our lifestyle and make it more comfortable in various aspects. For example
, the introduction of virtual communication applications and social media platforms offers the opportunity to contact with
anybody globally regardless of Change preposition
apply
the
geographical location. Correct article usage
apply
Moreover
, these communication devices are used not only in personal interactions to impeove
Correct your spelling
improve
life
but also
in professional capacities. As a result
, many multi-nationals
and entrepreneurial enterprises nowadays allow their employees to select remote or hybrid options Correct your spelling
multinationals
as well as
attending
career meetings virtually. Wrong verb form
attend
Hence
, this
contributes to a higher quality of life
as people face fewer challenges such
as commuting or being in stressful workplaces.
On the other hand
, technological breakthroughs which are a direct outcome of scientific accomplishments make citizen's way of life
extremely affordable. Although
,
cutting-edge computers and cell phones used to cost a fortune a few decades ago, thanks to science, the latest versions of the state-of-the-art technology Remove the comma
apply
is
currently affordable for the overwhelming majority of the population, Correct subject-verb agreement
are
for instance
. Furthermore
, if scientists figure out methods for mass-production
, it can result in an enormous scale of manufactured items which leads to a dramatic reduction in the cost for ordinary Correct your spelling
mass production
consumer
. Fix the agreement mistake
consumers
Thus
, less expensive prices also
constitute a tremendous contribution in order to provide a prosperous life
for the average citizen.
In conclusion, I unequivocally advocate that the utmost importance during scientific projects and discoveries should be given to humans and enhancing their livelihoods. Meanwhile, this
fast-paced trend not only resulted in a more convenient lifestyle but also
lead
to Wrong verb form
led
a
much broader access to once extravagant and luxurious devices. I forecast even more extraordinary and mind-boggling achievements in a not-distant future.Remove the article
apply
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task achievement
While the essay does a great job of addressing the prompt, adding a counterargument could make it even stronger. This can demonstrate a balanced perspective and deepen your analysis.
coherence cohesion
Ensure clarity and avoid redundancy. For example, instead of 'introduce advanced technologies that facilitate our lifestyle and make it more comfortable in various aspects,' you could say 'introduce advanced technologies that significantly enhance our lifestyle.' This keeps the writing concise and direct.
coherence cohesion
Try to be mindful of minor grammatical errors and typographical mistakes. For example, 'contact with anybody' should be 'contact anybody,' and 'impeove' should be 'improve'. These minor errors can affect the flow minimally but it's still good to eliminate them for a polished essay.
introduction conclusion
Your introduction sets a clear thesis, and your conclusion effectively summarizes your standpoint while providing forward-looking statements.
logical structure
The essay is well-organized, and each paragraph logically supports your thesis. Main points are clearly outlined and expanded upon.
relevant specific examples
You have used relevant and specific examples to support your arguments, particularly the discussion about virtual communication and technological affordability.