IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole.Do you agree or disagree?

#people #teenagers #work #time #community #teenager #society
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Certain individuals suggest that every youngster should make some contributions to their communities without paying, because
this
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 approach has benefits for
both
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 young generations and
society
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.
However
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, I believe that it should not be compulsory for teenagers. On the one hand, encouraging youths to do some voluntary works has certain advantages for
both
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 themselves and
society
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. Teenagers, especially who are undergraduates, can accumulate some essential experiences from these activities.
For instance
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, students who take medical care as their majors, can learn how to look after patients through practicing some assistant works at a hospital.
In addition
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, the disturbing workforce shortage can somehow be eased with numerous volunteers in some workplaces, including
both
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 private sectors and public sectors, which could be seen as a positive influence in
society
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.
On the other hand
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, doing unpaid works is unfair for students, because they
also
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 need
time
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 and payments. The current stressful study life requires youngsters to complete a lot of schoolwork,
such
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 as assignments, essays and the group meeting, which costs a large amount of
time
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 and energy for them.
Besides
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, these young people
also
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 need some incomes for maintaining their life’s expenses, like accommodations, transport and food, which have been continuously increased nowadays. Students could utilize their spare
time
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 to do a part-
time
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 job and earn some adequate money to meet those demands,
instead
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 of no rewarding jobs. To conclude, even though doing work in the community without payments has positive impacts for
both
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 individuals and
society
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,
however
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, I believe that students should not be forced to do these jobs, because they have the busy and expensive study life which requires
time
Use synonyms
 and incomes to cope with.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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