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Writing Samples
Band 6

People nowadays work hard to buy more things. This has made our life generally more comfortable but it is a pity many traditional values have been lost on the way to such materialism. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

#people #work #life #pity #values #materialism
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At present, people are becoming too materialistic and working hard so that they can afford more amenities.
This
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 is making our lives
easier but
Accept comma addition
easier, but
 simultaneously a lot of precious ancestral values are becoming a casualty of it. I strongly agree with the notion that, commodity fetishism is the main reason why we have lost a good number of ancestral norms. There are scores of reasons behind
this
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;
firstly
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, excessive obsession for materials could derail a person from cultural ethics and values. When a person becomes seduced by materialism, he or she tries to possess it by hook or by crook and does not hesitate to adopt the unethical modes for it.
This
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 is the
first
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 blow to our hereditary values of which morality comprises the most durable part.
Secondly
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, the person who is obsessed with belongings often prioritizes it over domestic life. As an indispensable consequence, it creates cracks and fissures in their family life. Any bad impact on the domestic life adversely affects the social structure as well as the culture.
However
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, the case is not exactly same for all the people who work hard as well as buy things to make their lives easeful. There are ample of examples of successful people who have established a sound balance among all aspects of their lives.
Thus
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, they have created their own way of fostering the ancestral values as well as responding to the crying needs of the materialistic world.
Finally
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, I pen down recapitulating that extreme quest for materials creates imbalances in our moral & social lives and
thus
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 brings ruin to our conventional values and principles.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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