The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. Schools should cut subjects such as arts and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on subject such as information technology. To what extent do you agree?

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In
this
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day and age, we are living in a world where education
become
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becomes
a compulsory part of a child’s upbringing. It is commonly believed that children should only pay attention
on
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to
subject
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as
information
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technology
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while some others like arts and music should be eliminated from the curriculum.
This
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essay will explain the reason behind my argument against
this
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thesis. Many believe that
information
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technology
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and scientific
discorvery
the act of discovering something
discovery
discoveries
are now dominate
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have now dominated
the social so students should only focus on them.
This
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is a very incomplete part of the picture as the enthusiasm of a child plays a considerable important part of one’s comprehension.
As a result
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, if we only focus on
information
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technology
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, children who are weak
at
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on
that
subject
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might be
demotivated
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by learning in that way.
This
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would result into negative points in one’s future. It is believed that
such
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subjects like science and
information
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technology
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do benefit a country’s
prosperous
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prosperity
. Though it is a valid point, it is not always true in reality. Korea is a perfect examination in
this
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case. In a recent survey, BTS, a famous
boyband
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in Korea, contributed to Korea’s GDP as high as Korea Air.
This
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is a case for music and art are as important as
information
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technology
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and school should help children in
faciliting
make easier
facilitating
both of them, in lieu of
cuting
the activity of selecting the scenes to be shown and putting them together to create a film
cutting
curing
creating
one. In consumption,
information
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technology
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has recently became
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has recently become
a trendy
subject
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that many choose to focus for the incentive financial purpose and some school or education
center
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centre
want to cut
subject
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like arts and music out of the curriculum.
However
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, students’ interest plays a bigger role and imposing or limiting the choice of students is not always guarantee a man’s success

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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