Some people agrue that technological inventions, such as mobile phones, are making people sociably less interactive. Do you agree or disagree?

Regarding the invention of technological gadgets
such
as mobile phones or laptops is a controversial topic what the benefits are. Some supporting people say that it makes them isolated from society and less sociable. From my perspective, I strongly disagree with the opinion and
this
essay will evidence it. There are many advantages brought by technology for humanity to connect with others. First of all, it is worth considering mobile phones or laptops to help the community lots for chatting or call from a distance.
For example
, on many social networking sites
such
as Messenger, Viber or Zalo aid we talk with our family and our friends without going out.
Furthermore
, they assist people who must work online and organise meetings to discuss with colleagues. The fact is that, in the COVID-19 pandemic, many companies paid a fortune for their employees to work online. Another point worth noting is mobile contact or laptops are just assisting tools. It means that it depends on the way society utilizes whether gadgets are useful or useless. Folks were completely active in a balance between work and life.
For instance
, we can build a suitable timetable for finishing tasks in 8 hours and spending other time freely, without mobile dial,
such
as talking with our family. In conclusion, whether technological products are helpful or harmful always depends on the nation.
However
, it cannot be denied that technology supports the community a lot by increasing the combination of society wherever we live.
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Introduction
Ensure a clear thesis statement in your introduction to guide readers on your stance.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words to improve cohesion between ideas and paragraphs.
Sentence Structure
Incorporate more varied and complex sentence structures to elevate your writing.
Grammar
Double-check for minor grammatical inaccuracies and work on refining them for more polished writing.
Introduction
You introduced the topic clearly and presented a precise opinion.
Body Paragraphs
Effective use of specific examples to support your arguments.
Content
Good job in addressing both sides of the argument, which enriches the content of your essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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