IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#museums #charge #admission #people
Visiting the museum is becoming the part of our culture, though not all museums have the same policy concerning the fee for entrance, because some museums demand the payment and others are not.
However
,
this
 issue must be seen in various categories in order to get the proper understanding, whether
this
 can directly affect the museums or not.
Firstly
, if the museums are not directly funded by the government,
then
 they will solely rely on the admission tickets.
Furthermore
, paying extra charge for the entrance tickets will directly increase the revenue of the museums, as well as helping them to raise fund for improving the maintenance.
In addition
, the museums can use the ticket fee to become their major benefits.
For example
, creating the advertisement related to the museums to attract more people.
Likewise
, in Jakarta, one museum, that fully focused on promoting classical musics is self-funded museum,
however
 the number of visitors keeps increasing every year, because they attract the people by promoting themselves, along with creating great events to entertain the visitors.
Conversely
,
this
 issue
also
 can be the major drawbacks for the museums, who demand the payment for the admission. Because some people visit the museums only for leisure time and because of that, visitors will choose the other museums that are totally free.
In addition
, if that museums are not helped by the local authority,
then
 they may not have enough money to promote themselves, as well as attracting more people to visit the museums.
Furthermore
, the worst thing is the museums can stop displaying their exhibition to the public. To sum up, I would concede that the benefits of charging the admission fee will depend on how the museums utilize the fund to promote themselves, so more people are attracted to visit them.
Submitted by metias.physics2020.abraham on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Admission fee
  • Revenue stream
  • Maintenance
  • Overcrowding
  • Commercialization
  • Cultural heritage
  • Diverse attendance
  • Community ownership
  • Access to culture
  • Visitor experience
  • Exhibit quality
  • Cultural mission
  • Reliance on funding
  • Government subsidies
  • Cultural accessibility
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