Some people think that high salary is important when choosing a company to work for, while others think that good working atmosphere is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion
It is realistically true that
,
money can't buy you time, Remove the comma
apply
peaceful
, pleasant, and loving life, but time can bring you all of the Correct article usage
a peaceful
things
. Every second is the most precious and prime thing to be considered in all and every aspect of an individual's activity. Nowadays, people
are mostly under some illusion that according to
the job-wise, which is a happier life; a comfortable living free from all of the stress and worries, or having a
fame, Remove the article
apply
luxurious
car, wealth, Correct article usage
a luxurious
huge
house and a prosperous career.
Correct article usage
a huge
Firstly
, It is quite obvious, those
Correct word choice
that those
Correct pronoun usage
who
whom
possess luxurious Correct pronoun usage
who
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
lifestyle
livings only Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
got
a status, rather than those who are Wrong verb form
get
Unnecessary verb
apply
being
suffering from poverty, Verb problem
apply
Correct word choice
and unpleasant
unpleasant
and uncomfortable living. In the period of modern Correct word choice
and unpleasant
civilization
Add a comma
civilization,
people's
are much more greedy, in order to fulfil their aims and goals. They usually, prefer to pursue a Change noun form
people
high paying
job. Apart, from that they Add a hyphen
high-paying
conceived
of themselves as a conceited personality in front of others and they spend a lot of their money on an unnecessary thing, because as if they really wants to look conspicuous in an eye of other Wrong verb form
conceive
people
. By doing these sort
of Fix the agreement mistake
sorts
things
, they are deceiving themselves and have been making this
mistakes from the day they started their chores in order to fulfil their Correct pronoun usage
these
greeds
. Fix the agreement mistake
greed
Furthermore
, they don't get a moment to hang up with their friends, family members and their loved ones. They are just evading the beautiful scenery of every moment. Besides
that
sodomy, some sophisticated Correct determiner usage
apply
people's
Change noun form
people
gives
priority to healthier and happier Correct subject-verb agreement
give
livings
in which they are not much Replace the word
lives
concern
about their earnings. Replace the word
concerned
However
, they just want to enjoy the beauty of a
nature and unlike others expenditures a lot of their time and cash on necessary Remove the article
apply
things
which is a
most fascinating thing about them.
In a nutshell, the most virtuous and trustworthy Correct article usage
the
people
are those Correct pronoun usage
who
whom
aren't Correct pronoun usage
who
much
greedy about their ambitions. Being a good person in a society, they perform every obligation with their kind heart. Even though they earn a quite low, despite Fix the agreement mistake
apply
perform
every task by working hard. They want to endure a simple life and Change the verb form
performing
thanks
Correct subject-verb agreement
thank
to
god for blessing them with Change preposition
apply
such
an excessive amount of Cates. I think it's better to go with your passion and doing
Wrong verb form
do
things
which you likes
the most, because being so greedy and selfish Change the verb form
like
for earning
Change preposition
to earn
a
money by performing some tedious tasks Remove the article
apply
for
all Change preposition
apply
of
Change preposition
apply
the
day can even make you sick.Correct article usage
apply
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task response
Ensure that the essay clearly addresses all aspects of the prompt, and that the main points are well-supported with relevant examples and ideas.
coherence cohesion
Focus on organizing ideas in a more logical and coherent manner. Develop a clear introduction, body, and conclusion that link together effectively.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion