In many countries, woman no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because woman are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require the financial security that marriage can bring. To what extent do you agree?

#countries #woman #people #income #security #marriage

There is a school of thought that nowadays women are more independent in financial status,

thus

being able to lead a comfortable

life

without getting married.

Although

I side with the opinion, I do believe that there are other reasons for

this

situation.

To begin

with, it is true that modern women have become financially independent. Thanks to the relentless movements for women's rights, females can go to school to get educated and have been provided with a plenty of opportunities for self-development.

Hence

, they are able to find jobs, pursue their passions and live the

life

they want without relying on men for financial support. Emma Watson, who is a well-known single actress, is a typical example for

this

. She stays unmarried despite being 30 and enjoys her

life

to the fullest with a successful career and financial stability.

On the other hand

, there are other reasons contributing to the unmarried status of many women today.

Firstly

, the more their self-esteem has strengthened, the more stable and confident women become. They

then

feel content and fulfilled

with

Suggestion

themselves, leading a great deal of them to stay self-partnered rather than stepping into a relationship or getting married.

Secondly

, in a society that gives all of its members essential freedom and a fair share, people can rise to their own height.

As a result

, marriage is no longer high on a number of women’s priorities. With an ambition of moving up on the career ladder, those ladies have shifted their focus on personal achievements, including profession.

This

explains why the number of single women has significantly increased in the modern society. In a nutshell, in an equal society, women are empowered to stand on their own feet and work towards their goals.

Therefore

, not only have they been able to fulfil their financial needs, but they have

also

become more self-assured and happy with their

life

without the need of getting married.

Submitted by hongminh317 on Thu Mar 12 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

321 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries, woman no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because woman are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require the financial security that marriage can bring. To what extent do you agree?

Fully explain your ideas

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Playing computer games only has negative effects on children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Teenage pregnancy is on the rise in many countries. Why is this? What measures are there to tackle this problem?

Some people think personal happiness is directly related to economic success, while others believe this depends on other factors too. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.