IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

It has been claimed that workers over 50 are not responsive to rapidly changing ideas in the modern workplace and that for this reason younger workers are to be preferred. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#workers #workplace #reason
Some people believe that due to the rapid changes occurring in modern
work places
a place where work is done
workplaces
, it is better to employ younger than older people. I do not believe that
this
 is the case. One argument in support of younger employees is that older employees could be more set in their ways and potentially against any change. To an extent
this
 may be true, but there are many flexible and intelligent workers over 50, while there are inflexible and narrow-minded younger ones.
Attitude
Suggestion
The attitude
 towards change is a result not of
age but
Accept comma addition
age, but
 of personality type. That said, physical changes occurring with age could mean certain jobs are more suited to a younger person.
For instance
, psychologists seem to be in agreement that memory declines with age for people not remaining mentally active. In high-tech industries
such
 as computer programming, where it is so important to be able to work with so much information, numbers and calculations, being younger may be an advantage.
However
, older workers have a wide range of other positive attributes that they can bring to their working environment. Generally, they have more work experience than those who are younger.
In addition
, as can be seen with the trend of many department stores in the UK to take on older people, they are seen to be more reliable and respectful. These are important in any kind of working environment. In conclusion,
therefore
, there is not the evidence to support employing young people as opposed to those over 50. It would seem that a mix of the best qualities of old and young is
preferential
Suggestion
preferred
 in order to ensure the most productive environment evolves.
Submitted by ashraf.mohammedroshan53 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: