IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some parents believe that cell phones are harmful for children while others disagree. Discuss both the sides and give your opinion.

Cell phones have made everyone's
life
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 easier. It is believed by some people that cellular phones can cause harm to children while others do not accord with the same.I opine that use of cell phones can help children in many ways
,
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,
however
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,
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,
 excessive use of it can be harmful. To embark on
,
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,
 with the advent of mobile phones
,
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,
 the dependency of human
life
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 on it has shown an upward inclination. Especially children find it exciting to play games on it as a reason to pass the
time
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.
Moreover
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, they indulge their maximum
time
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 in playing games online which makes them forget that the real world exists. Due to excessive usage of cellular phones, children are wasting their
time
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instead
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 of learning from it. Rather than
this
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, children should give their quality
time
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 to outdoor games by having a glimpse of the nature.They should go for fresh air and play games with other children.
This
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 can keep them healthy.
On the other hand
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, use of cell phones has its advantages too.Cell phones have made human
life
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easy
Suggestion
easier
.
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.
Children can surf through the internet and grab
knowledge
Suggestion
the knowledge
 about anything they want instantly.
Also
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, there are applications,
for example
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 Byju's
,
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,
which can help the child to get assistance regarding any subject.Cell phones have replaced physical hard work which parents and teachers did to teach their children. In my opinion, cell phones can be more of an assistant to a better
life
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, if not used excessively. It majorly depends on children, how they take
this
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 advantage as, in
this
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 prestigious world. In conclusion, some may believe that mobile phones can be harmful and some may think it as a boon. I believe that it depends on the human tendency.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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