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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some countries are struggling with increases in crime rates. Some believe that having more police on the streets is best way to reduce and combat crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Few countries are confronted with an increase in the
number
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 of criminal activities. It is often argued the best method of minimizing the crime rates is by deploying more
police
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 on the streets. I completely disagree with
this
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 notion and believe that illegal activities can be controlled by increasing awareness among the public and setting up CCTV cameras on the streets.
First
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 of all, I believe that the most effective method of reducing the
number
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 of crimes is by making citizens aware of the situations where
such
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 events can happen. For that, the government should launch campaigns in order to provide pertinent information to city dwellers about people with criminal behaviour. When the public becomes aware of the crimes that can happen
in particular
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 situations, they will take preventive measures to avoid them.
For instance
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, people will avoid walking alone at night, particularly in areas where there are fewer people.
Also
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, they will refrain from carrying a large amount of cash and wearing expensive jewellery in crowded streets.
This
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 will eventually lead to a reduction in the
number
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 of criminal incidences.
Secondly
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, installing CCTV cameras on the streets throughout the city can help curb crime rates to some extent because it will be tough for criminals to hide their identity with those cameras everywhere. Even if some people with ill motives try to indulge in criminal acts, they will be caught using the CCTV footage which will discourage criminals for those activities.
Furthermore
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,
this
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 will help the government reduce the
number
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 of
police
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 personnel employed for security purposes.
Thus
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, installation of the surveillance system might reduce the crime more effectively with lesser
number
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 of
police
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 on the streets. In conclusion, I strongly disagree with the view that the
effective
Suggestion
most effective
 method to reduce illegal activities is by increasing the
number
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 of
police
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 in
streets
Suggestion
the streets
 because increasing awareness among citizens and installing CCTVs for surveillance are far better methods.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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