IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say that a person’s success is as a direct result of the way they were brought up by their parents. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #person’s #success #parents
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is thought by some people that the way children are brought up by their parents determines their
success
Use synonyms
. I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement as many successful people were raised in orphanages or
by
Suggestion
with
 bad parents and that
success
Use synonyms
 is a result of one’s hard
work
Use synonyms
. Many people who were brought up by bad parents became successful, which proves that
success
Use synonyms
 has nothing to do with one’s family.
Although
Linking Words
 some might think that parents influence one’s character to some extent, I would say that it is always up to the person to decide which path to follow and who to become. Growing up in a toxic family can serve as a motivation for individuals to
work
Use synonyms
 hard and become independent so that they can move out and escape their families.
For example
Linking Words
, Oprah Winfrey, who was raised by a toxic family that neglected her and abused her during her childhood, yet she became one of the most successful and influential women in the world.
Success
Use synonyms
 always depends on how hard people
work
Use synonyms
 and their determination to succeed in life rather than one’s family and background. Even if individuals were brought up by great parents, they would never succeed in their careers if they did not take the right steps and pursue their dreams.
For instance
Linking Words
, many university students who live in harmonious and supportive families, fail in their studies and,
consequently
Linking Words
, never succeed in their careers and might enter the poverty cycle.
This
Linking Words
 is due to not taking their studies seriously and not improving their skills, which proves that
success
Use synonyms
 depends on a person’s character and efforts. In conclusion, when people apply themselves and
work
Use synonyms
 hard to achieve their goals, they can be successful no matter what families or backgrounds they came from.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: