Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
Excessive
sugar
consumption in processed foods
and beverages has been associated with numerous health
issues, including obesity and diabetes
. Making sugary products
more expensive could help reduce their consumption. In my opinion, I firmly support this
idea and this
essay will explain why this
option is the best.
When people
consume high sugar
in foods
and drinks
can cause many health
problems. When people
drink lots of sugary drinks
like sodas and sweetened juices, they have a higher chance of getting type 2 diabetes
, a serious illness where the body struggles to control blood sugar
levels.
Having too much sugar
in our diet can make our bodies resist insulin, a hormone that helps control blood sugar
. This
can lead to gaining too much weight, which can cause health
problems like diabetes
and heart disease. If sugary products
cost more money, people
might not want to buy them as much. They might choose healthier foods
instead
, which have less sugar
. This
could help lower the amount of sugar
people
eat and reduce their risk of getting sick.
For example
, in some places, they started charging extra money for sugary drinks
. After a while
, people
started buying fewer sugary drinks
. This
shows that when sugary drinks
cost more, people
buy less of them.
By making sugary products
more expensive, we can give people
a reason to choose healthier foods
and drinks
. This
could help us all stay healthier and prevent diseases like diabetes
.
In summary, excessive sugar
consumption poses significant health
risks, including obesity and diabetes
. Therefore
, I firmly believe that making sugary products
more expensive is a beneficial decision.Submitted by p.thongketkaew on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Achievement
You've made a strong case for increasing the cost of sugary products to improve health outcomes. To further enhance your essay, consider offering a more diverse range of examples and evidence to support your argument. Doing so can make your points more convincing and well-rounded.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a good logical structure, which is commendable. To elevate your coherence and cohesion further, aim to vary your sentence structures and use a wider range of linking words and phrases. This will help your writing to flow more naturally.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction clearly presents the topic and your position, which is a strong start to your essay.
Task Achievement
You did well to present a clear argument in support of your thesis throughout the essay, maintaining a consistent line of discussion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!