Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
Excessive
sugar
consumption in processed Use synonyms
foods
and beverages has been associated with numerous Use synonyms
health
issues, including obesity and Use synonyms
diabetes
. Making sugary Use synonyms
products
more expensive could help reduce their consumption. In my opinion, I firmly support Use synonyms
this
idea and Linking Words
this
essay will explain why Linking Words
this
option is the best.
When Linking Words
people
consume high Use synonyms
sugar
in Use synonyms
foods
and Use synonyms
drinks
can cause many Use synonyms
health
problems. When Use synonyms
people
drink lots of sugary Use synonyms
drinks
like sodas and sweetened juices, they have a higher chance of getting type 2 Use synonyms
diabetes
, a serious illness where the body struggles to control blood Use synonyms
sugar
levels.
Having too much Use synonyms
sugar
in our diet can make our bodies resist insulin, a hormone that helps control blood Use synonyms
sugar
. Use synonyms
This
can lead to gaining too much weight, which can cause Linking Words
health
problems like Use synonyms
diabetes
and heart disease. If sugary Use synonyms
products
cost more money, Use synonyms
people
might not want to buy them as much. They might choose healthier Use synonyms
foods
Use synonyms
instead
, which have less Linking Words
sugar
. Use synonyms
This
could help lower the amount of Linking Words
sugar
Use synonyms
people
eat and reduce their risk of getting sick.
Use synonyms
For example
, in some places, they started charging extra money for sugary Linking Words
drinks
. After a Use synonyms
while
, Linking Words
people
started buying fewer sugary Use synonyms
drinks
. Use synonyms
This
shows that when sugary Linking Words
drinks
cost more, Use synonyms
people
buy less of them.
By making sugary Use synonyms
products
more expensive, we can give Use synonyms
people
a reason to choose healthier Use synonyms
foods
and Use synonyms
drinks
. Use synonyms
This
could help us all stay healthier and prevent diseases like Linking Words
diabetes
.
In summary, excessive Use synonyms
sugar
consumption poses significant Use synonyms
health
risks, including obesity and Use synonyms
diabetes
. Use synonyms
Therefore
, I firmly believe that making sugary Linking Words
products
more expensive is a beneficial decision.Use synonyms
Submitted by p.thongketkaew on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Achievement
You've made a strong case for increasing the cost of sugary products to improve health outcomes. To further enhance your essay, consider offering a more diverse range of examples and evidence to support your argument. Doing so can make your points more convincing and well-rounded.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a good logical structure, which is commendable. To elevate your coherence and cohesion further, aim to vary your sentence structures and use a wider range of linking words and phrases. This will help your writing to flow more naturally.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction clearly presents the topic and your position, which is a strong start to your essay.
Task Achievement
You did well to present a clear argument in support of your thesis throughout the essay, maintaining a consistent line of discussion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.