Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

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Excessive

sugar

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consumption in processed

foods

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and beverages has been associated with numerous

health

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issues, including obesity and

diabetes

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. Making sugary

products

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more expensive could help reduce their consumption. In my opinion, I firmly support

this

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idea and

this

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essay will explain why

this

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option is the best. When

people

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consume high

sugar

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foods

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and

drinks

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can cause many

health

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problems. When

people

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drink lots of sugary

drinks

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like sodas and sweetened juices, they have a higher chance of getting type 2

diabetes

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, a serious illness where the body struggles to control blood

sugar

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levels. Having too much

sugar

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in our diet can make our bodies resist insulin, a hormone that helps control blood

sugar

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This

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can lead to gaining too much weight, which can cause

health

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problems like

diabetes

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and heart disease. If sugary

products

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cost more money,

people

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might not want to buy them as much. They might choose healthier

foods

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instead

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, which have less

sugar

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This

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could help lower the amount of

sugar

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people

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eat and reduce their risk of getting sick.

For example

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, in some places, they started charging extra money for sugary

drinks

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. After a

while

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people

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started buying fewer sugary

drinks

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This

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shows that when sugary

drinks

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cost more,

people

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buy less of them. By making sugary

products

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more expensive, we can give

people

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a reason to choose healthier

foods

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and

drinks

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This

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could help us all stay healthier and prevent diseases like

diabetes

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. In summary, excessive

sugar

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consumption poses significant

health

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risks, including obesity and

diabetes

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Therefore

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, I firmly believe that making sugary

products

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more expensive is a beneficial decision.

p.thongketkaewFri Apr 26 2024

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Task Achievement

You've made a strong case for increasing the cost of sugary products to improve health outcomes. To further enhance your essay, consider offering a more diverse range of examples and evidence to support your argument. Doing so can make your points more convincing and well-rounded.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your essay demonstrates a good logical structure, which is commendable. To elevate your coherence and cohesion further, aim to vary your sentence structures and use a wider range of linking words and phrases. This will help your writing to flow more naturally.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your introduction clearly presents the topic and your position, which is a strong start to your essay.

Task Achievement

You did well to present a clear argument in support of your thesis throughout the essay, maintaining a consistent line of discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

268 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

health problems
manufactured food and drink products
sugary products
excessive sugar consumption
discourage
promote
healthier choices
reduce
increased taxes
fund
health education
prevention programs

What to do next:

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Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that planning for future is a waste of time. They believe it is more important to focus on the present. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

some people say that main environmental problems of our time are due to lack of some specific species of plants and animals. Other says that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Nowadays many scientists and tourists would like to travel to remote natural environments, such as the South Pole. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?