Despite huge improvements in healthcare, the overall standard of physical health in many developed countries is now falling. What could be the reason for this trend, and what can be done to reverse it?

#improvements #healthcare #health #countries #reason #trend

In the modern

life

, technology has impacted at all

life

, one of the

this

effecting

area

Suggestion

areas

healtcare

the preservation of mental and physical health by preventing or treating illness through services offered by the health profession

healthcare

However

this

great effect has not been reflected at physical medicine as decreasing many western countries. I will briefly discuss the reasons and possible solutions in below paragraphs. Clearly, the healthcare systems

has improved

Suggestion

have improved

with high

technological

Suggestion

technology

devices, robots, computer based software.

Also

, treatments, new vaccinations against diseases, drugs have

discoveried

discovered or determined by scientific observation

discovered

and developed.

Although

, all these

novelty

Suggestion

novelties

has not appeared

Suggestion

have not appeared

in physical medicine.

This

is because, the people have

long

Suggestion

a long life

life

compared

last

centuries, elders can get disease easily. Even the treatments

has been

Suggestion

have been

, older people can not recover. In

additon

a component that is added to something to improve it

addition

to it, overpopulation has negative influence on it. Everybody can not access recently at the hospitals, there are so crowded.

Thus

life

and health

standarts

a basis for comparison; a reference point against which other things can be evaluated

standards

are getting worst.

On the other hand

, some possible precautions are population balance in

city

Suggestion

the city

and countryside, personal healthcare nursing for the

olders

a person who is older than you are

elders

. The individual should be encouraged by the governments to live in

rural area

Suggestion

a rural area

rural areas

with tax free applications or free check up.

Suggestion

add to the governments should be listed individuals who over 65age and their nursing should be done fast and punctual.

For example

, in my town, the municipality has a special line for just

emerceny

a sudden unforeseen crisis (usually involving danger) that requires immediate action

emergency

situations. When an accident or

histery

the aggregate of past events

history

moment occurs in

Suggestion

old citizen's house an ambulance and the healthcare experts visit there in order to help. In conclusion, I restate, overpopulation and older individuals health

standarts

a basis for comparison; a reference point against which other things can be evaluated

standards

are getting worst, admittedly. Due to, the governments should take care of

this

issue supporting rural and urban

life

standarts

a basis for comparison; a reference point against which other things can be evaluated

standards

also

nursing care systems should be increased. Every person has

deserve

Suggestion

deserved

a mental and physical

health

Accept comma addition

health, life

life

and

autorities

the organization that is the governing authority of a political unit

authorities

should be

consiously

Suggestion

conscious

consciously

in order to inhibit measures.

Sat Mar 14 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

295 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Despite huge improvements in healthcare, the overall standard of physical health in many developed countries is now falling. What could be the reason for this trend, and what can be done to reverse it?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do the advantages of the trend outweigh the disadvantages?

In some cities, public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruits and vegetables. Do the advantage outweigh the disadvantage?

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all the shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?

some people believe that everyone has a right to have access to university education and that governments should make it free for all students no matter what financial background they have. To what extent do you agree or disagree ? Huyền

You want to sell some of your furniture. You think a friend of yours might like to buy it from you. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter -explain why you are selling -describe the furniture -suggest a date when your friend can come and see the furniture