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Band 5.5

Task 2: The continued rise in the world’s population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. What are the causes of this continued rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?

#rise #world’s #population #humanity #time
Humankind is witnessing the unprecedented rate of
population
growth which
Accept comma addition
growth, which
 is considered as the biggest concern of all nations. The cause of
this
 trend is the improvement of human living conditions.
However
, I disagree that
this
 trend is the humanity’s mightiest issue.
For
Suggestion
From
 my perspective, the greatest concern must be the extravagant natural resource consumption.
To begin
 with, better living conditions
is
Suggestion
are
 the rationale of overpopulation. Clearly, the better food supplies, hygiene and medicine are helping people lengthen their age. In the past,
for example
,
although
 Vietnamese women tended to give birth many children, the
population
 did not go up. Because of the shortage of food, poor medicine and lack of parents’ care, most babies died before they grew up.
By contrast
, a family
now just have
Suggestion
now just has
 1 or 2 babies, but thanks to better living conditions the mortality rate of children decreases remarkably.
Therefore
, it makes the world’
population
 keeps increasing rapidly.
On the other hand
, overusing natural resources must be the greatest problem
instead
 of the rise of
population
.
Population
 increases because the elderly lives longer and more children survive.
However
, when old people die, along with the tendency of having less babies, the amount of
population
Suggestion
the population
 will be stable.
On the contrary
, some natural resources are finite. Take
water
 as an example; drinking
water
 holds just 1% of
all the
Accept comma addition
all, the
 amount of
water
 in the world, but many people are not aware of
this
 fact. They
not only use
Suggestion
don't only use
water
extravagantly but
Accept comma addition
extravagantly, but
also
 polluted the
water
 sources. To include, better human living conditions
is
Suggestion
are
 the main reason of
population
 explosion.
However
, the biggest problem faced by mankind is the extravagance of using natural resources.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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