IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people think that the government is responsible for looking after the elderly. Others believe that it should be family members. Who do you think should take responsibility?

#people #government #members #responsibility
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While it is believed by some that old people should be looked after by the authorities, others argue that it is the responsibility of their families. I believe that both governments and families are responsible for taking
care
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 of the elderly. Governments should take part in taking
care
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 of its older citizens for two reasons.
Firstly
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, they were once young people who worked and paid their taxes. As a consequence, part of their taxes should be paid back to them as pensions when they grow old since many people cannot save money during their lives.
Secondly
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, not all old people have family members to take
care
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 of them.
This
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 can be exemplified by people who decide to stay single and not give birth to children nowadays or those whose family members might have passed away or travelled to other countries. In
this
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 case, if governments did not look after its older citizens,
then
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 they might become homeless and die on the streets. Family members should
also
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 take
care
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 of their elders and never forsake them. People who have grown old were once young parents who took
care
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 of their children and,
consequently
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, their families should do their best to support them when they grow old
instead
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 of leaving them in nursing homes.
Although
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 some nursing homes provide medicine and a place to stay for the elderly, they are not guaranteed to treat them well and many nurses bully old people.
Additionally
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, it breaks old people’s hearts when their families neglect them in their old age.
For instance
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, many people start a family in order to find support and love when they grow old and they would be heartbroken and abandoned when their families refuse to look after them. In conclusion, families must take
care
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 of their elders and support them as well as governments since not all old people have families to look after them.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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